Undisclosed Desires {Gavin}

[Amina Krane]

Two weeks had passed since the gala and to say they had been normal would be a major understatement. Why had he kissed her? Actually, no. Why had he used one of his favors to have her kiss him? And why on the lips? Was he toying with her? It had to be something to do with the fact that she had put in a rule of no sleeping with him for a favor. He had to be playing off of that, right? There was no way he liked her. The idea had been planted rather easily by others around her whom she had mentioned it to, but she herself could not grasp the idea. After how rude he had been their first meeting, how could he like her? It wasn’t as if they were children anymore. They were close to adulthood and to treat a girl like crap just because you’re too afraid to tell her of your true feelings? What a cop out that was. Amina had told that to the few people who she had spoken with regarding the subject and each came back with the same comment: He’s a guy. Well that solved everything, didn’t it? Because just saying he was a guy got him out of her head. It took away all the confusion, all of the nerves when she thought about him. Because saying he was a guy was the magical cure for everything…

Well, it hadn’t been and because of that, Amina was riding close to the line of causing her house some valuable points in this little game of cat and mouse. They weren’t even close to Slytherin at this point, but she would be damned if she was the reason they dropped to last place. Wasn’t it bad enough they were already third? So she had decided to stop her petty act of skipping classes. In the two weeks she had nearly missed every class she and Gavin shared just in order to avoid him. Childish? Yes. Worth it? Hell yes. She couldn’t imagine if his first favor had been for a dance and his second for a kiss, what his third would be. He seemed to be advancing quite quickly. Luckily she did have the fail safe that kept him from using it on sex. She should have put more clauses, though. As she sat in her dorm room making up the homework from the lost lessons, she had imagined all of the other conditions she could have listed that would have prevented any of this from occurring. Why couldn’t she have thought of those the day she bumped into him? All of this skipping of classes, detentions, everything could have been avoided if she had merely been smart enough to counter against the male mind. Instead, she sat here, writing an incredibly long potions paper on how to fix a sleep draught that was a deep shade of green instead of lavender.

Sighing softly, Amina rolled over on her bed, realizing she didn’t have nearly enough information in her current potion book to finish this paper. It was her worst subject and that was evident by the two lines she had written. “I need the library,” she muttered to herself. Victoria was across the way working on her own homework and Amina was sure she heard some sort of sound. A scoff, snicker, giggle, she wasn’t sure but something told her Victoria did not think Amina would be leaving the room. Apparently she had to prove her wrong now. Rolling back over, Amina propped herself up and rolled up her parchment. She piled it on top of her books and slipped on her shoes before making her way off the bed, offering a quick smirk to Victoria before swiftly making her way from the room.

By the time she was out of the common room, she realized what time it was. This was the first time she had been out in the middle of the day. Had she seen the clock, she would have chosen to go more towards closing time when she was sure she wouldn’t run into him while in the halls. If she was right, he had some sort of class around this time. Yes, she had studied his schedule and no, she wasn’t being a stalker. She was trying to avoid him at all costs and she was quite sure he was doing the same. Her first few classes she had begun to attend this week where they shared the room, he had been the last to arrive and sat as far away from her as he could. If that didn’t make her more confused, she wasn’t sure what would. Her only hope was their attempts to avoid each other would keep paying off today as they had done in the past. As she made her way down the grand staircase and out to the fourth floor, she breathed a sigh of relief, so far there hadn’t been anyone around so she was having pretty good luck. So rather than focusing on avoiding the person who obviously wasn’t around, she focused her attention back on the task at hand. She had to get to the library and figure out some way of fixing this potion or she was going to have a hard time explaining why she didn’t finish the paper in time.

If she had heard the footsteps, she would have slowed down before rounding the corner on the fourth floor, possibly even hiding if she could have found a spot. However, hearing was not her specialty. Instead, she took the turn at full speed and only realized there was another person there when she ran directly into the solid figure. Her eyes had still been down at her books in her hand so she didn’t even know who she hit. All she knew was one second she was looking at her nearly blank parchment on top of her “Advanced Potions” book and the next moment all she saw were her empty hands. Her books, parchment, everything in her hands was sprawled across the floor. She felt a deep red flushing through her cheeks. She hadn’t done something this klutzy since her second year in school and then it was because she was in a rush, not distracted. Now it was all his fault. Why couldn’t she have just run a little faster that day and completely avoided him? Instead, now she was sitting here distraught over something she wasn’t even sure she understood. Amina took a step back once the collision occurred, making sure not to step on hers or the other persons belongings as she did so. “Sorry, I…” Her voice broke off as she looked up at the figure she bumped into. She would have continued but the eyes she met made her only release a deep sigh. “Gavin.” His name was simple enough, and practically all she could muster at this point. She had just been wondering what he was going to make her do the next time he saw her and here was that moment. “How have you been?”

[Gavin Dewhurst]

take a chance or you'll never ever know

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( I GOT MONEY IN MY HANDS THAT I'D LIKE TO BLOW)
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[/i] feelings toward her were. Did he like her? Was that what this felt like? He hadn't ever had feelings of this nature before that he was aware of. He didn't like females. He certainly didn't even interact with those outside of his house, it just wasn't him. This wasn't how he acted. The longest that he had ever spent with somebody that he wasn't platonic with was one night, those that were really lucky would get a weekend...but even those two days would be spaced out. He just didn't do attachments, he had never really seen the point considering there was no point. A very large part of him had always hoped that he would have sound somebody within his house that he would have fallen for instantly, somebody with a good family and breeding that would please his parents. Then it could be his choice, he thought that he had...once, for just one moment but that hadn't worked out how he had thought it would. Amina...she just didn't fit any of the qualifications that he had wanted. Sure, she was pure blooded, which was just about the only reason that he hadn't thrown himself off of a building yet. Yet, he couldn't keep the image of her out of his head. She should have just stayed wherever it was that she had come from and saved him all of this trouble. He didn't need it. He had too much else to be focusing on right about now. He had a life that he needed to get back to, and quit daydreaming about things that were so damn shameful. He wished that he could just skip the classes all together, and not even have to spend the entirety of lessons glancing up over at her and then feeling guilty. Yet, he had Quidditch to think about. This close to the end of term, this close to getting the Quidditch cup and the house cup he couldn't afford for anything to go wrong, Kariana would murder him. She was being even more controlling than she normally was about Slytherin decorum, most of all those on the actual Quidditch team. The rest of the house members, she had just taken to barking at. It wasn't even their final year, he didn't get why she was being so anal about everything. It was her prerogative though, just meant that he had to suffer through all of this lessons as they were scheduled. He had taken to showing up as late as possible without having points deducted until he had noticed that she had stopped showing up at all. He couldn't bring himself to think that she had stopped coming to classes just to avoid him, not this close to finals. She must have been sick, besides, who wouldn't want to look at his handsome face?

Today had marked the first class since the incident that he had actually skipped all together. He needed to catch up on classwork and it was believable that this close to end of term stress was making a student sick. He had checked in at the hospital wing this morning to make the story more plausible, but had otherwise spent the rest of the morning camped out in the library with more than one of the other Slytherin team next to him, how they were all pulling that off, he didn't really want to know. But he felt more comfortable in numbers these days it would seem. These last couple of weeks he had been on a walk about, trying out just about every female in his house as deplorable that really was, anything to push that image, the feel of her glossed lips on his own, even though it had just been an intense few moments before he had ducked away from the dance floor and lost himself outside in the crowds of people for a good long while. Perhaps subconsciously he was still attempting to do the same thing in a way. Snapping his Herbology book closed on top of his finished essay he stuffed the thing into his leather book bag. He couldn't sit still anymore, he needed to run, swim, fly, anything to keep his body moving and his mind distracted. Pushing the rest of his things into his bag too quickly to bother latching it closed he clapped Regulus on the shoulder on his way away from their study group and out of the library, his feet trained to go toward the dorms so that he could change into something more fitting for physical activity. His eyes were elevated just over the heads of almost everybody in the student body, no doubt coming across as arrogant to anybody that chose to look upon him. It wasn't an incorrect label, he was arrogant but not without good reason to be. He walked boldly down the corridor, expecting people to move out of his way so that he didn't run into him, he should have been expecting one of them to not move sooner or later, but he hadn't been.

The body that collided with his ribs knocked the wind out of him, forcing him to stagger backward a beat. His eyes narrowed bitterly, ready to insult the person who had been so damn careless as to not watch where they were rounding corners until he saw who it was that he collided with. Instantly, a stupid smile flashed across his features until he realized what he was doing and stifled the emotion, masking it quickly with anger. It was easy enough, he just needed to look at the red and gold emblem on her clothing to remind him why it was a bad thing to be seeing her. “Sorry, I…” he didn't bend to help her pick up her things, he just watched her, only stooping to lift his leather bag off of the ground from where it had fallen from his shoulder. This was embarrassing how his heart was racing like he had just been running for hours. “Gavin.” that was it? That was all that he got? The possibility that she hadn't enjoyed their kiss hadn't ever crossed his mind. He couldn't imagine a scenario where anybody didn't like him. He was easy on the eyes. He would be lying if he hadn't expected something...more...out of their next meeting. This felt almost anticlimactic and yet, the urge to kiss her again was already surfacing. She wasn't even the most pleasant of people, in fact he found her to be downright annoying with her persistent mannerisms. Yet, this unexplainable urge was undeniably there. “How have you been?” he shook his head, sticking his hands into his pockets and squaring his weight between his feet. “I don't think I like your tone” he needed to act uninterested, perhaps they could just pretend that the whole thing had never even happened. That really would be for the best. Maybe he could convince her she had dreamt the whole thing. The corner of his mouth upturned into a smirk at the thought as he watched her gather the things that she had dropped. Pulling his hand out, he moved in a elegant motion to emphasize his next words “you should address me with a more, regal tone” he continued, hoping that she would just give up and leave like she had their first meeting. “Like you're addressing royalty”

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I don't know about me,

[/size]
(BUT I KNOW ABOUT YOU)[/center]

[/b][/color] 1,655
outfit: This
tags: Amina
credit: gabs of a different color; @ caution 2.0[/ul][/size][/font][/left]

[Amina Krane]

There was no way to describe how she was feeling because Amina wasn’t even sure. She was happy there was no one else in the hall with them because she was sure as they both stood there in silence, her books scattered across the ground at their feet, it would be an odd sight for whomever would walk by. She knew that but she didn’t know what to do about it. Part of her wanted to just leave, to leave her books on the ground, her two sentence long essay, and just go back into her hole of a dorm room. She would stay there until the end of term when she was able to go home. Sure it would mean she would have to retake sixth year but at least she wouldn’t have to deal with this awkwardness. But then there was the part of her that told her to stop being afraid. The part of her that helped her overcome every fear she had in her life thus far. Though she wasn’t afraid of Gavin, she was afraid of the situation she was in. It had helped her get through every rough patch in her life and if she was able to use that to get through her last relationship, she could most certainly use it to get through her problems with Gavin. The only problem was, how? When she couldn’t even understand what she was into. She owed him favors and the one’s he had already cashed in were making no sense. There were so many scenarios that had run through her head of why he had chosen the favors he did and each one of them frightened her in some sense. One of them frightened her even more than the others because she wasn’t sure how she herself felt. About the situation. About him.

As she stood there in front of him, she could see why she wondered how she felt about him. He was a rather attractive male, something she knew from the beginning. The kiss had been nothing spectacular, mostly because she hadn’t wanted it to be. She wanted it to be just a kiss because he was cashing in a favor for it. But she couldn’t deny the underlying thought as she did so. The wonder of if he wanted it because somewhere, within him, he was thinking the same thing as her. Whether or not they could have a working relationship. “I don't think I like your tone.” Amina raised an eyebrow. Was he kidding? He didn’t like her tone? She asked how he was doing and he remarked with an insult. Shaking her head, Amina knelt down and began compiling her books again. Obviously this was going to go in the direction of one of her worst situations. The one where he did all of this just to humiliate her, to show her he was a Slytherin and he thought he was better than her. “You should address me with a more, regal tone. Like you're addressing royalty.” Looking up at him, Amina realized she was in the completely wrong position for what he was insinuating, but she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. Standing up, books and parchment in hand, she glared at him. “Royal pain, if you ask me.” Her tone was nothing like she had used with him before, not even when she was upset after he stated she owed four favors. It was a tone she hated using because she hated being mean, but at this point, it was like he was just toying with her and she hated it.

But she hated being mean even more so with a sigh, she moved around him and walked towards the library. She almost expected him to grab her arm and turn her around like he had done all those times on the path when she tried to walk away from him but something else happened instead. She stopped. Something was making her want to turn around and address the situation instead of run. It was that damn bravery inside of her. So she followed it. She turned around, bringing her books down to her side. “You know, you’re right. Well, sort of. I should be nicer and I’m sorry for not treating you with respect.” Pushing a strand of her curled locks aside, Amina offered a small smile. Although it faltered rather quickly. “Actually, you know what? No, I’m not sorry. What the hell is your problem? Was the Gala just some big joke to you?” She threw her books down to the ground. She wasn’t sure if it was out of frustration or just for dramatic effect, but it made a loud clap through the empty hall. “I mean, you cash in two favors, for a dance and a kiss, and then just take off? You left me standing there not sure if you were trying to humiliate me or if you were being serious. I have to tell you, the first one worked out pretty well.”

Shaking her head, she ran her fingers through her hair, turning around, taking a few steps forward, and then turning around once again, her hands dropping back down to her side. “I have spent the last week and a half avoiding you because I don’t know what your end game is. Are you just being the Slytherin stereotype? The jackass who just has to make a Gryffindor feel bad because they aren’t good enough? Or are you being the male stereotype? Unable to tell a girl like an adult that he has feelings for her?” Her teeth were grinding with every pause and this last one was the hardest. However she took in a deep breath with the pause as well. “You know what, I don’t care. I honestly don’t.” Bending down to pick up her books again, she stood up straight once more. “If you wanted to humiliate me, congratulations, you did. But if you wanted me to get angry, that was all you’re going to get. I forgive you for leaving me there at that Gala and I hope you can forgive me for that little outburst.”

[Gavin Dewhurst]

take a chance or you'll never ever know

[/size]
( I GOT MONEY IN MY HANDS THAT I'D LIKE TO BLOW)
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[/i] What a defense mechanism that came across as. There was little to no bite in her words, so he wasn't even half way offended. Still, her tone was different, and it was the tone that hurt more then the actual words that it had been applied too. His brow lifted toward his hair line, not sure that he was able to give a name to his emotions, he wasn't sure if he was upset or surprised.

His body pivoted as she turned, kicking at his only fallen book with his foot, kicking it along the floor like it was a game as he walked. He wasn't going to bend over and pick it up in per presence, he wasn't going to show any weakness, he couldn't afford it. He trailed behind her cautiously, not sure how he wanted to handle the situation. Did he want to just let her go and be done with it? Would he rather finish their conversation and be done with it, or drag her into a deserted classroom and be done with her that way. He didn't know, he didn't want to know. He was more internally conflicted than he would ever remember being. Yet, before he could even make up his mind she stopped, the book that he had been kicking ramming into her toes and laying there, abandoned as he stared down at her face. Thank Merlin they were alone in this hallway. Why had she stopped? “You know, you’re right. Well, sort of. I should be nicer and I’m sorry for not treating you with respect.” Did he look confused? He felt confused, more than that, he was totally speechless. She was just giving up so easily...again. This just made things worse. He couldn't be attracted to a quitter, he just couldn't. He was better than that, he was better than her and her stupid sweet smelling hair. Yet, if she was saying it to make herself feel better and then toddle off he was fine with that, anything to be away from her. He didn't return her smile, in fact he forced a frown onto his face. “Actually, you know what? No, I’m not sorry. What the hell is your problem? Was the Gala just some big joke to you?” “Joke?” His frown deepened and Gavin drew his arms even closer to his chest. No. he certainly didn't think that this was a joke. He thought this to be the furthest thing from the joke, she was unacceptable in every single way.

The temper tantrum that she was throwing was so minute that it was almost cute that way she threw her books on the ground. Was he effecting her the way that she was effecting him? It just was unlikely, he knew that women pretended to have feelings for him, but everybody knew that he just wasn't the boyfriend type. This was no shocking secret. “I mean, you cash in two favors, for a dance and a kiss, and then just take off? You left me standing there not sure if you were trying to humiliate me or if you were being serious. I have to tell you, the first one worked out pretty well.” Like she didn't like it. He was chewing on the inside of his cheek again, without even realizing it. He didn't think of it as cashing in two favors, only one...he had just pulled her onto the dance floor but she could take it however she wanted. She could just forget the whole thing, forget about his favors at all. She would be the only one to ever get such a privilege. He hadn't meant to humiliate her, but he wasn't going to apologize for it either. He wasn't going to apologize to her for anything. Ever. “I have spent the last week and a half avoiding you because I don’t know what your end game is. Are you just being the Slytherin stereotype? The jackass who just has to make a Gryffindor feel bad because they aren’t good enough? Or are you being the male stereotype? Unable to tell a girl like an adult that he has feelings for her?” Merlin was she ever going to shut up. Part of him hoped that she would, but the other part was glad because she was starting to irritate him, which was a far more appropriate reaction to be having to her presence. Annoyance. Frankly he was surprised that it had taken her this long to ask what his endgame was. He was the second, but not for the reasons that she was assuming that he was. He couldn't have feelings for her, if that was what this was he just couldn't, it wasn't acceptable. He could be disowned for having feelings like this for anybody that wasn't appropriate.

“You know what, I don’t care. I honestly don’t.” Well that was an obvious lie, she was lucky that he was in the process of chewing his cheeks to ribbons or else he would have been shouting at her for awhile now, he doubted that she would have been able to get in a word edgewise. It didn't help matters that he had been yelling about her for a week now since Care wouldn't let the subject die. She was being almost petty about it. Rolling his eyes at himself more than anything else he took a tiny step backward to allow her to pick up her books, holding out his hand expectantly for his own but not entirely surprised whenever she left it on the ground where he had. “If you wanted to humiliate me, congratulations, you did. But if you wanted me to get angry, that was all you’re going to get. I forgive you for leaving me there at that Gala and I hope you can forgive me for that little outburst.” Before she had a chance to turn around any more he placed his hand on the back of her neck, pressing her hair down against her skin. His book bag fell to the ground next to his feet as his hand held her face in place. Swiftly he lowered his lips to hers, not asking permission and not giving her any time to protest. He backed the two of them toward the wall that she had almost tripped him into earlier, lips moving against hers as he balled the bottom hem of her shirt into his fist, mortified at the emotions surging through his system until he could bear it no longer and released her. “Merlin, PLEASE shut up” with that, he turned, scooped up his book and started to walk away.

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I don't know about me,

[/size]
(BUT I KNOW ABOUT YOU)[/center]

[/b][/color] 1,692
outfit: This
tags: Amina
credit: gabs of a different color; @ caution 2.0[/ul][/size][/font][/left]

[Amina Krane]

Getting angry was not Amina’s favorite thing to do and she tried to avoid it whenever possible. Most of the time when she did get angry, she did exactly what she had just done: turn her attitude around and apologize for it. Something she knew was life was too short to constantly be angry at someone who could turn out to be your best friend in the end. Though she had plenty of friends and best friends, she always had room for more and getting angry was not the way to do it. However, with Gavin, it seemed to be the only way to get her point across. His reaction to her statements was nothing short of what she would expect. He didn’t take her words to heart and she could see it on his face but she could also see an ounce, or more like a gram, of surprise too. Or was it confusion? She didn’t know him well enough to distinguish his expressions but she knew it wasn’t the same look she had gotten the day they first met. She had seen a small amount of it at the Gala but even less than what she was seeing now. The question was, what was she seeing? And why wouldn’t he just be straight with her? Why was she having to get angry, yell, scream, and then turn around and apologize just to get any sort of human reaction out of him. If anything, this whole thing was just making her even more angry which was the reason why she was ready to just leave. Yet her legs wouldn’t let her do so. She knew there had to be more than just that. There had to be something else the two could say that would mend the possible friendship between the two.

But he had other ideas. He didn’t want to say anything. His hand came towards her and for a split second, he thought it was going to choke her, to make her shut up. However, it did something far more unexpected. His hand went to the back of her neck. She could feel his fingers pressing down against her hair, her curls she had worked on for so long that morning. She knew what was coming but she hoped it wouldn’t. She hoped he would think better and just walk away, but he didn’t. Instead, he dropped his bag to the ground and moved his other hand to her face. Her head was begging, pleading for him to stop because this would only make things more complicated but something in her heart was begging him to do it. Begging him to stop making her wait. He decided to follow her heart’s orders. His lips were upon hers before her head could protest any further and, all of a sudden, the world went quiet. Her eyes remained open for a moment before finally giving in and closing, embracing what was happening. It was just the two of them. Her books were still in her hands and those hands grasped the bindings, unsure of what else to do as he backed them up against the wall. This scenario wasn’t one she was familiar with, and the only other time she had been in one similar, she knew her feelings towards the man whose lips were on hers. Needless to say, this time she had no idea what to do. Luckily, she didn’t need to know.

He pulled away before he could do any further damage to her hair or her shirt. “Merlin, PLEASE shut up.” She remained against the wall as he turned and began to walk away, picking up his book and his bag in the process. Her eyes were wide with surprise, unsure of what had just transpired, but it didn’t take her long to regain her composure and begin to comprehend everything. He had just kissed her. This wasn’t a favor any longer. But why would he do that when there was no one else around? At least the gala made some sort of sense. There were people he could humiliate her in front of, people to show that even a Gryffindor can tricked into thinking love was real and could come from a Slytherin. But here? There was no one to bear witness. The halls around them were empty and you couldn’t even hear any other students walking. Most of them were either down getting food, in a class, or in their common rooms. The few who were probably in their library probably had intentions of staying there for quite a while longer. Narrowing her eyes, she slid her wand from her pocket in her jeans and pointed it at his bag. She had no intention of complying with his request for her to shut up. If she was going to get answers, she had to make sure he wasn’t going anywhere for at least a small amount of time. To do that, she was going to have to make some noise. “Diffindo,” she muttered, a small jet of light striking right at the base of the bag, splitting the seam and allowing all of the contents to spill to the ground. First came the heavier of the books, then some parchment. It wasn’t too bad until the last bit slid out. She winced at the sound of a cracking ink bottle, sure that the contents were going to be lacing their way through the pages of his books, parchments, and onto the bottom of his pants legs, but all of those things were fixable. She had done it more times than she could count. Having a clumsy side meant a lot of spills to clean up. What really mattered was figuring out their relationship at this point. She wasn’t going to be able to walk away from here until she knew something about what was going on.

“Now that I have your undivided attention,” she said as he stopped in his tracks. Amina knew she was edging on that mean path again but at least this way, she knew he was stuck here for a little while. She put her books on the ground and took a few steps closer to him while putting her wand back into its proper place. “Explain to me what that just was. There’s no one around to bear witness so obviously my humiliation comment was wrong. So the only other thing it could be is you have feelings for me and won’t admit it. Please, enlighten me.”

[Gavin Dewhurst]

take a chance or you'll never ever know

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( I GOT MONEY IN MY HANDS THAT I'D LIKE TO BLOW)
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[/i] What? That was for his attention he couldn't move, he was in a rage. She had ruined everything he had on him because she wanted attention? If he had ever needed more proof that she wasn't worthy of his time now was it. She had no right. She couldn't have called out to him? Shouted something rude? It would have served the same purpose and it wouldn't have ruined his school work because of it. She had had no problems running her loud mouth before now.

“Explain to me what that just was. There’s no one around to bear witness so obviously my humiliation comment was wrong. So the only other thing it could be is you have feelings for me and won’t admit it. Please, enlighten me.” Of course he didn't want anybody to bear witness, why would he ever want anybody to see him in his moment of weakness? She was acting so damn thick. Why was she pushing him so hard, obviously he didn't want to talk about it. Insufferable. That's all that she was. “Perhaps this is just some part of an elaborate mind game” he commented as nonchalant as possible. Yet, her continued stare wore him down. “And what the hell do you want me to say, Krane.” Slowly, he took steps toward her, abandoning his bag behind him, the sound of crunching glass from his various ink bottles breaking further under the weight of his step. “Do you want me to say that you repulse me? Because you do, that I feel less worthy just standing in your very presence.?” His eyes scanned her body like he was looking at something disgusting, like one would look at a squashed roach on the bottom of his shoe, one not even worthy of being scraped off by hand but only on the side of a rock, left to rot without anything to ever even know what it once was. “That the inferiority of your house and therefore you is supposed to somehow just be okay? Because it isn't. That your sickeningly nice attitude ALL THE TIME makes me throw up in my own mouth? Because it does” He didn't know what she was looking for, there was nothing nice that he could possibly say to her, and if she honestly thought that he was going to say anything kind...well she was far less intelligent than he had originally thought. He had told her before that they were never going to be friends, she didn't know all of the truths of the pure blood world, her family wasn't involved in the same things that his was, she couldn't possibly know the things that he struggled with on a daily basis. She could never understand, and he could never tell her. “My feelings for you Krane as as simple as that. You are unworthy”
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I don't know about me,

[/size]
(BUT I KNOW ABOUT YOU)[/center]

[/b][/color] 1,214
outfit: This
tags: Amina
credit: gabs of a different color; @ caution 2.0[/ul][/size][/font][/left]

[Amina Krane]

Amina wasn’t quite sure what she was expecting. One thing she knew was he stopped walking which was her hope, but she wasn’t sure how he was going to react to the outlandish act. How she could have expected anything but anger, she wasn’t sure. She had already seen enough of his anger previously that it would be the most obvious thing to result from his belongings being damaged, yet she didn’t think of that. Pulling out her wand and splitting his bag wide open happened to be something where she hadn’t thought about her actions first. She just did the first thing that came to mind and now she was going to have to deal with the consequences. As he turned around, she could see the anger in his eyes. He wasn’t just angry, either. He was furious. And for good reason. “Do you have. ANY idea. How long. I've worked on that assignment?” Biting down on the inside of her lip, she began to regret what she had done. She was going to pay for it with his attitude, but there was nothing she could do now. She was going to have to take it full force and try to figure out how to deal with it. She could give it back, that wouldn’t be a problem for her at this point, but how would that solve anything? She had ot find some way to diffuse the tension. She just wasn’t quite sure how she was going to do such a thing yet.

“Perhaps this is just some part of an elaborate mind game. And what the hell do you want me to say, Krane.” Well that was a first. No one had called her by her last name. Ever. Sometimes she even wondered if people realized she had a last name, and here he was, stating it out loud. Apparently he had been paying attention when they had first met and she had stated her name. As he began to issue out angry comments in her direction, trying to insult her any way he could find, she could only take it in stride. She wasn’t upset at him, nor was she upset at his comments, mostly because they were resulting from her actions. She recognized that and she was going to take it as he dealt it, even though he was hitting pretty deep. “That the inferiority of your house and therefore you is supposed to somehow just be okay? Because it isn't. That your sickeningly nice attitude ALL THE TIME makes me throw up in my own mouth? Because it does. My feelings for you Krane as simple as that. You are unworthy” Well that boiled it all down, didn’t it? Well, maybe it did in his eyes. “If that’s the case, then why the damn kiss?” Everything he had just stated to her were reasons not to like her, yet he had yet to give her one reason why he was doing exactly what he had just done. If he hated her so much, why would he kiss her? Did he think that was going to make her leave him alone? Right now, she wished she had. She wished she had pushed whatever feeling of joy she got whenever his lips touched hers and just shoved it into the deep recesses of her mind. She could place it in her locked cell, right next to all of her thoughts regarding her ex’s. But she just didn’t see that as a possibility. Maybe if they hadn’t talked after the Gala, hadn’t seen each other for months, then she could have just put it away. But not now. Not after a second kiss that he didn’t even ask for. He just took.

Amina’s fingers reached for her hip and pulled out her wand from the same location it had been earlier. Part of her wanted to point it at him and curse him for making her feel like this. She hadn’t had any issues with men recently. When she came to Austria, she had told herself she wouldn’t get mixed up in that drama again. She would wait for the right person to come along. Then, and only then, would she stick herself into a drama filled relationship. If everything Gavin was telling her about his feelings towards her was right, she was pretty sure he wasn’t the one. But, cursing him wouldn’t do any good. If anything, it would only make things worse. Her eyes looked down to his bag and the black ink slowly seeping across the floor. She made her way over, passing by him without even looking at him. She knelt down at the tattered mess on the floor. “Tergeo,” she muttered as her wand pointed at the ink spill. The black mass began to flow into the tip of her wand. It first came up from the floor and then began to inch off of the parchment and then finally the books until the only ink left was what he had put there purposefully. She then pointed at the cracked mess of an ink bottle. “Reparo.” It reformed into its usable form. Unfortunately, she couldn’t give him the ink back, but something told her it wouldn’t matter if she did or not. Using the same spell, she pointed her wand at the bag on the ground. The stitching she had so quickly torn was now reforming into a perfect seam once again. He may complain that it wasn’t ever going to be the same and she didn’t care if he did or not. She did what she could to fix her mess and if that wasn’t good enough, he was just going to have to deal with it.

She stacked his books and parchment and empty ink bottles and placed them next to his bag. The last things he wanted to do was piss him off even further by putting them inside. Once sure his belongings were all in one position, she stood up and put her wand away. Turning back towards him, she crossed her arms across her chest. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being such a thorn in your side for just trying to be nice to you. I’m sorry for wondering why you would kiss me and then run off. And I’m sorry for feeling like there is something about you that I like.” Amina waved one of her hands in the air as if to indicate that was a stupid idea and she should have realized it would never work. “As for me being unworthy, you’re wrong. There is nothing that makes you better than me, better than anyone in my house. We’re all people. However, if you can’t see that, then I feel sorry for you.” She realized she was doing the one thing he hated and the one thing he really kept yelling at her most for: talking. But she couldn’t help it. When she was all worked up, talking was her first defense mechanism. Walking up to him with her hands now at her sides, she was just thinking on bowing out, picking up her things, and walking off. But there was just one last thing she wanted to do. She knew he could over power her in a second but she wanted to try. She extended one of her hands to brush his cheek. Nearly holding her breath in anticipation, she reached up and placed her lips upon his, if only just for a moment before pulling away both her lips and her hand. She knew there was something there. And with each time they came together she could see it. If only she could somehow extract it from him. If she could just pull out that decent guy she saw somewhere in there, things could be different.

But everything was up to him. There was only so often that she could fight him, try to bring out that better side she knew was there. She liked a challenge, but not one where there was no possibility of succeeding. At least, if she could even see a glimmer of hope while standing in this hallway, she would know she wasn’t wrong.

[Gavin Dewhurst]

take a chance or you'll never ever know

[/size]
( I GOT MONEY IN MY HANDS THAT I'D LIKE TO BLOW)
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[/i] Because he was weak, standing that close to her made him weak. “You understand nothing” came out as a low growl, not even sure if he wanted her to hear it. If she needed more reasons, he could give them to her easily.

He watched her pull her wand from where it had been hiding for the little speech he had just made, if she thought that she was going to be able to hex him and get away with it, she was mistaken. He wasn't going to stand for any more of her antics. On reflex, his hand went toward his own wand in his front pocket, slowly, waiting to see what it was exactly that she was going to do. Was she going to strip him? There was nothing else of his on his person that she could possibly ruin like she had his school work. His fingers had just started to encircle the ribbed handle whenever she muttered her spell, watching as the ink started to leave his school work and books. He said nothing, but lowered his hand away from his own wand. Why was she fixing what she had just broken? He hoped that she was apt enough in her spellwork to suck out only the spilled ink, and not the ink that had been used to write his essays. It was tricky to spare the written words whenever cleaning so blindly. Yet, he was already irritated with her for the same cause, it seemed that the essay would be ruined one way or another. He watched in silence, slowly pivoting his body back to where his bag was, choosing to focus on the fact that her shoulder had brushed his arm on her quest for his book bag. It wasn't ever going to be the same after this, he knew it, that bag was Italian leather, and not easily repaired by spell work, it ruined the authenticity of it. Had she just wanted him to be angry with her? That was the only thing he could think of, why else would she have fixed something that she had caused whenever she could have just shouted at him and gotten the same effect. He didn't understand, he didn't want to understand her. As she stacked his repaired things next to his bag he lifted his wand and elevated the contents into the bag neatly, organizing themselves until the lid flapped closed and buckled itself in the front. Yet, he didn't move to retrieve it, not yet.

She met him this time, coming back to his presence of her own free will for the first time. It made his scowl, he didn't want her to think of him as some puzzle that she could solve. He was a good man, he was a strong, family orientated man with a very promising career ahead of him. He was intelligent and kind to those that he loved. He had a small handful of friends that adored and would do anything for him. He didn't need anything more in life, he certainly didn't have any room for her in his life. He wasn't broken, he just felt no desire to show her who he really was, she didn't warrant it, there was no reason for it. She would never have the privledge because she wasn't worthy. It all came back to the same thing. He could just imagine the look on his mothers face if he even attempted to introduce Amina to her, she would look her over once, circle her, Amina with her bright smiles and flowing curls and she would shake her head. Oh, Pearl would be perfectly nice to Amina for the evening, invite her to stay for dinner, escort her into rooms because she would owe that to her son but at the end of the evening, he just knew that Pearl would end up pulling either Amina or himself aside and calmly explaining that this was nothing more than a fling, that it couldn't be because there was no room for Amina in this family, and their family didn't 'date', they didn't have time for such trivial, time wasting things and Pearl would ask her not to return to this house, that she wouldn't be welcome a second time, but that she was a lovely woman. Oh, it would be so very civil....until Gavin returned to the house alone. He knew exactly what was going to happen and he wasn't going to put himself through that. If he couldn't bring her home to his mother, one of the most loving people he had ever known, there was no hope for them. He wasn't stupid, he wasn't going to waste his time. Her lips were just so soft...he couldn't stop himself. Which is why he should have tried harder to avoid her at all costs.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being such a thorn in your side for just trying to be nice to you. I’m sorry for wondering why you would kiss me and then run off. And I’m sorry for feeling like there is something about you that I like.” There was lots that she could like, but he wasn't ever going to show her that side of him, he would rather die. He was so sick her apologizing, it wasn't that there was anything wrong with them as individual people, but together they would never exist. Couldn't. “Stop Apologizing” he was growing more frustrated with himself by the minute. He was sick of the sight of her. “As for me being unworthy, you’re wrong. There is nothing that makes you better than me, better than anyone in my house. We’re all people. However, if you can’t see that, then I feel sorry for you.” She was so wrong. She was so beyond wrong but he couldn't make her see that apparently. Didn't she realize that she didn't belong in his world? The world of excessive money and politics, Gala's and wars, those were his people. His own father was right smack dab in the middle of everything and she couldn't even understand that. Not that he could tell her. His cheek was stinging from the effort he was exuding attempting to keep himself contained. “Whatever helps you sleep at night” he forced the words out between clenched teeth, not even realizing that his anger was making him shake. Again, as she grew closer his body turned on him, calming down, becoming still, inclining his head into her hand just a millimeter whenever she touched his cheek. He should have seen it coming, he should have stopped her but he couldn't. He had been the one making the advances, and now he knew that there was more on her end as well, something welling inside of her that she didn't want to admit to, that was making it easier for her to overlook everything that should have been enough warning sign to make her run away. He bent down toward her, just long enough to feel her lips brush his...and the bell to ring.

Cursing himself he scooped up both of their things, glancing over his shoulder as the classroom doors started to open and the students to pour out of their classrooms. Somehow, he managed to shove their belongings under his arm and over his shoulder and grabbed her firmly by her bicep, pulling her along quickly to the first empty classroom that he could find. He didn't want anybody to see them. Backing into the room and spinning her out of his grip he locked the door with his wand before tossing their things aside on the floor and crossing to her quickly, his hands moving to cup her face, forcing him to double almost in half, losing a good portion of his height, he did tend to tower over her. Whenever his lips had connected with hers once again his hands moved from her face down to her hips, lifting. This couldn't be, he just...needed her out of his system and he knew it. That had to be what was hanging him up so much. Her kiss had been soft...almost like it wasn't even there but he didn't know how to be gentle like that, he didn't know how to not let his body have the better of him. He lifted her until she was about his height, his hand moving to force one of her legs around his hips,letting his hands roam to her waist and back once he felt sure that her legs were locked around his torso. Merlin, he needed to stop, he needed to compose himself, he needed to put her down and leave her alone...but now that they were honestly alone, nobody was going to be in this room for hours...his mind was wandering, he knew all that he was going to be able to do was leave her with more questions.
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I don't know about me,

[/size]
(BUT I KNOW ABOUT YOU)[/center]

[/b][/color] 2,094
outfit: This
tags: Amina
credit: gabs of a different color; @ caution 2.0[/ul][/size][/font][/left]

[Amina Krane]

“Stop Apologizing.” If she could just understand what it was about him that made her so irritating to him, she could stop it. But it seemed like no matter what came out of her mouth, he had something to retaliate about. The first day they met he would take her apology. Now here he was again, shooting her down. Was he really this against people being nice to him? She couldn’t imagine why. Why would someone be so upset to have a person be nice? It baffled her. But everything he had said he disliked about her had been regarding her attitude. But she had no way of stopping it. If he didn’t like it, tough luck. There had not been a single part of her life where she just stopped being nice. And, anyways, when she was mean, he came back at her for that too. Thinking about it only made her more frustrated. “Whatever helps you sleep at night.” But that was just the thing. She wasn’t sleeping at night. How many times had Victoria woken up in the middle of the night and seen Amina just staring off into space as she sat on her bed? Of course, Victoria knew why she was because Amina told Victoria everything. Even having only known her for a few months, she had become one of Amina’s best friends. Her confidant if you will. She knew she wasn’t going to sleep again until she got this whole thing with him worked out but how was that even possible when he wouldn’t work with her? It was a constant battle.

But, for once, something wasn’t a battle. Since their first meeting when he was constantly fighting her about who ran into who and what she had to do to make up for the mistake, everything was constantly them going at it. This time, there was nothing saying no. Nothing pushing or pulling her in the other direction. As her hand touched his cheek, he didn’t protest. He didn’t pull away, yell, scream. Instead, she actually thought he moved into her hand. Even if just the slightest, she felt like he had moved his head in her direction. It could be her imagination, but she felt as if he wanted it to be there. Like he was asking her to do what she was planning to do, even if he didn’t know what that was at the current moment. As her lips came closer to his (a stretch on her part given the height difference but after years in gymnastics, she knew how to make something like this work), he didn’t pull away, didn’t flinch. He allowed her to come closer and the moment they touched, it was almost like chemistry. Bells immediately went off. But, that wasn’t the bells someone might say they heard when they found true love. No, that was a bell she heard multiple times during a day. The school bell.

When it rang overhead, their lips, only having been connected for a mere second, parted as Gavin moved away. She wasn’t sure why he had moved. Was it the kiss? The bell? She didn’t think he had a class to go to. It couldn’t have been so bad of a kiss that he was scared away. Then again the two they had prior to this one, both he had run away after it occurred. What was to say that wasn’t the reasoning behind him moving? He went directly to his things lying off to the side, slinging his bag over his shoulder. For a moment she thought he was just going to run off and blend in with the crowd so she wouldn’t be able to find him. So she wouldn’t be able to ask questions. But then he turned and proceeded to pick up her books as well. Quirking an eyebrow, she was about to ask what he was doing when his arm latched around her bicep. It was just like the first day they had met all over again. But this time, he was in a rush to get somewhere, not in a rush to stop her from leaving. She felt him tug as he moved towards an empty classroom just as the footsteps began getting louder through the corridor. People were on their way to their classes, leaving the library. The hallway was about to be flooded with students and he didn’t want people to see them. So why not just pick up his stuff and leave? Why bring her in the classroom. For the first time that day, she got an answer to the questions in her mind. As the door shut, he tossed their things aside on the floor and moved right in front of where she was standing, not stopping until his hands were on her. A smile crossed her lips but only for a moment because right away, they were connected once more. Her hands moved up to his neckline as she welcomed the rush.

As his hands moved down from her face to her hips and lifted her into the air, she wrapped her legs around him to hold herself in place against his body, the only place she wanted to be at that exact moment. His hands began to move from her hips upwards, sliding underneath her shirt. The feeling of his hands on her back made a chill crawl up her spine, one of those that you wish would never end. But she needed it to end. There was something wrong with this scenario. Something deeply and terribly wrong. But yet something so right. As their lips parted, she could feel his travelling down her neck. She bit down on her lip as she willed him to continue. But that nagging feeling in the back of her mind kept coming back until finally, her hands that were previously wrapped around her neck, now moved forward to his shoulders. “Gavin,” she muttered, trying to catch her breath. “Gavin, I can’t.” Everything told her she could but that one nagging feeling, the feeling that kept her from sleeping with her first two boyfriends until they had been together at least a month. She wanted to get to know the person she was with, not do something on a whim and hope things would work out in the end. She couldn’t give into the rushing feeling that told her to allow him to have his way with her. She had to put down ground rules and if not now, when?

Sighing softly, she allowed one of her legs to remain wrapped around him while the other dropped to the ground. Once her toes were on the ground, the other leg came down to join it. “I can’t,” she repeated, shaking her head without even looking at him. She turned away, bringing her hands up to her face and sliding her fingers through her hair as she battled internally with herself. Maybe this was why he was insulting her. He knew something like this would happen. They would get in so deep and there would be no turning back. She couldn’t let it continue, though. It was against everything they stood for. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… I had no intention of giving you the wrong impression.” She dropped her hands to her side and turned away, going towards where he had put her books on the ground. It had been a mistake to pursue him. She was getting in way too deep and now she wasn’t sure if she could turn back. Amina had feelings for him, something she knew before she had kissed him and yet she did it anyways. How did she honestly think it was going to end?

[Gavin Dewhurst]

take a chance or you'll never ever know

[/size]
( I GOT MONEY IN MY HANDS THAT I'D LIKE TO BLOW)
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[/i] in her hands, which was a surprising thought considering how wrong for one another they actually were. He hated that he liked touching her, hated even more that he liked kissing her. It was making his head spin. He had been with countless women in his life, but he had only ever kissed one before now, that had only been one time...it was like he was seeking her out, looking for just that one thing. Like he was a man dying in the desert and she was a spring of fresh water. He hated it, he hated her. He hated how he was feeling. He could feel his eyes pressing together like he was in pain, like something was hurting him but he didn't stop moving, not daring to dwell on anything other than the moment, his hands sliding up the back of her shirt a little until his palms were resting against her back, feeling the muscles there contracting under the effort of keeping herself on him. He was moving them one step at a time to the row of desks, there was a good patch of blank floor behind the first section of desks that if somebody were to walk in, they wouldn't be seen right away. Not that he had any prior experience in this room...but that was his goal, where he wanted to go. He left their things behind, discarded, unwanted, no longer even something to think about. Once he reached their destination, his stood still, keeping them upright, their combined weight squared between his feet and his lips finally tore from hers, but never left her skin. He left a hot trail from her mouth to the dip of her neck, the blood flow to his own lips making them seem hotter than they should be but he couldn't stop. This he knew how to do, and well. This was something that he didn't even have to think about. Yet, he had thought about her while doing this before, something that hadn't been appreciated by the person that he had been doing it with.

“Gavin,” He wasn't listening closely enough to know that it wasn't how he was interpreting her words that she meant them. She was protesting, not forcefully yet, but she was protesting. One of them should have been, he wasn't exactly thinking with the brain that was on his shoulders. He didn't stop, trailing down to her collarbone slowly, smiling softly into her skin. He didn't know what sort of perfumed soap that she used, he hadn't been able to smell it before now but he liked it. Finally the force of her hands on his shoulders registered in his brain as she spoke again. “Gavin, I can’t.” She didn't have to, he would do it all, she just needed to enjoy herself. He needed to get this out of his system so that he could devote himself to hating her. He heard her, but his neck craned back for her skin, not ready to give up just yet. Yet she kept pushing him away, one of her legs lowering before he could catch it, he was forced just to keep her upright and not falling backward as she lowered her second leg. He moved in again, hoping to change her mind, to be done with her finally but she didn't allow him, her hand pushing him away once more. His eyes finally opened, narrowly, not a happy expression. He didn't like being toyed with. He had told her that whenever they did finally sleep together, because he knew now more than ever that they were going to sleep together that it would be because she begged him to. He was going to make her beg, he could be cruel too, he could make her want it. “I can’t,” More like she wouldn't. She was physically capable of it, he knew that now. He shook his head, moving closer once more, testing her, “but you want to” she took longer to turn him down this time, but just like before, she pushed her hand against his shoulder before he was able to make contact. Whenever she moved away his body contracted, lashing out to kick at the row of desks resulting in a loud clang. Luckily it was unlikely to be heard outside of the room due to the throng of students walking about.

With his hands on his hip bones he turned around, away from her and took a few paces to himself to calm himself, to rationalize. She had only done what he had needed to do but his impulse control seemed to be seriously lacking whenever it came to her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… I had no intention of giving you the wrong impression.” He waved a hand over his shoulder at her, he didn’t want to hear it, he didn't want to hear her talking every again. He never wanted to look at her again, but that seemed unlikely. More so now than before. He could hear leaving, walking away from the desks that he had moved them toward, she was going to leave him here with his thoughts. Good. She should. Resigned he moved toward the desk that he had just kicked out of the line that it had been in, sliding into it heavily and placing his elbows on the desk. With a deep sigh he buried his head in his hands, he couldn't stop her from leaving, he owed himself that. So he would sit here, putting at the strands of hair near his forehead that he had balled up between his fingers. The harder he pulled, the easier it was to drown out her retreating footsteps. She should leave. She should.
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I don't know about me,

[/size]
(BUT I KNOW ABOUT YOU)[/center]

[/b][/color] 1,269
outfit: This
tags: Amina
credit: gabs of a different color; @ caution 2.0[/ul][/size][/font][/left]

[Amina Krane]

“But you want to.” He was forceful and determined, she had to give him that. And sadly, he was right. She wanted him to slide his hands all the way up her back, to discard her of the red and gold top that he so obviously disgusted because it resembled her house. She wanted to slide off his shirt and expose the muscles she knew so well that he hid underneath. But if she stayed near him for one more second she was afraid how much farther she would go than just that. It was against her character to sleep with a man so soon after meeting him and she would hate herself later for doing such a thing. Most likely she wouldn’t be able to sleep for weeks, even longer than she couldn’t sleep now just thinking about their interaction at the Gala. This by far topped anything that happened there. Merlin, she was straddling him. She was using every muscle in her body to stay attached to his body, to keep herself clinging to him as his hands searched her back, as his lips toyed around with her neck. Everything was telling her to just give in, to just let him do it but she couldn’t. She couldn’t allow herself to give into temptation so easily. If she did, how did that make her any different than any common whore you could find on the beach during spring break in Florida? She might as well be charging for them to sleep together. A galleon an hour, a discount of five galleons for a whole night. Hell, if he wanted a weekend, fifteen and she’d be his. At least she would be making something off of it. If she gave into this, there would be nothing to show for because more than likely, he would find himself losing interest in her once they did sleep together. She would turn out to be nothing more than a toy he would get bored of and toss aside. And in the end? She would just hate herself for giving in to such meaningless desires.

The loud clang of banging desks was not what she expected to hear as she turned away from him. The noise made her nearly jump out of her own skin. She had thought he would be yelling and screaming at her instead for pulling him along, for making him think this was exactly what she wanted. That’s what she usually saw in the films. A woman who turned a man down would be facing the temper tantrum following where she got put down. But instead, when she looked over her shoulder as she neared his books, she saw him walking over to the empty desk he had just kicked out of the way. He had been leading them in that direction. Her gut was pulling her back that way, part of the reason to get back on him, to wrap herself around him again like she hadn’t ever pulled away. But then another part was to go and comfort him. To apologize and explain why she didn’t want to go any further. Turning back around, she decided that was a bad idea. She needed to just get her books and leave. Get out of there while she was still in the right state of mind to do so. As she reached her books, she knelt down and grabbed them off the ground. She still had to finish this damn potions essay and now she was in no frame of mind to do so. It would end up just being random scribbles about men and how she was unsure of how to act, and how she should have thought before kissing him. Maybe even how she should have said yes instead of no. She was pretty sure Professor Talbott would not prefer to read such things.

Looking next to her books, she saw his bag on the ground, the bag he so quickly discarded as they walked in here yet he had been so upset when she had damaged it. Why would his mood change so quickly? Sighing, she stood up, her books in hand and walked over to a desk, setting them down. Her eyes wandered over to him in the corner where he was now sitting in a desk, his head in his hands. He looked miserable and she couldn’t stand knowing she had caused it. Why did she have to kiss him? She should have just left well enough alone and walked away from him. Leaning forward on the desk, she hung her head low. She wanted to leave, to walk out that door like her head was telling her to do, but part of her just really did not want to leave. Unfortunately, she was having a hard time denying that part of her. “I don’t know what to do.” She choked out the words with more difficulty than she had expected. She sat on the desk next to her books, her back towards him. “I don’t know what to do with you. With me.” Hanging her head down low again, she put her elbows on her knees and her hands through her hair. “Why couldn’t you have just accepted my apology that first day and let me keep on running?”

But that wasn’t the answer. No, that would never be the answer. They couldn’t take back what had happened that day and even if they did, fate was fate. If they were destined to go through this battle between one another, they would do it no matter if they went back in time and changed that day or not. With another sigh, she lifted her legs onto the desk and turned around to face him, allowing her legs to drape over the side of the desk again. She hated this. She hated that she was so torn with him. Her previous two boyfriends had not been this much heartache. They were merely flings. They got together, both like each other, hung out and had fun. One day she slept with them. One went in the direction of him becoming abusive so she ended it. The other treated her like a ragdoll and tossed her aside when he was done with her. After both of those, she was going to be anything but careless with a relationship. Yet, the things she wanted to do with him in the corner of this room fell right underneath that careless category. “I like you and I don’t know what to do about that. And I know you feel something for me because, that,” she began, waving her finger in the direction of where they had been before she said no, “wasn’t nothing. That wasn’t you hating me. If it was, you wouldn’t have let me say no, I know that from experience.”

[Gavin Dewhurst]

take a chance or you'll never ever know

[/size]
( I GOT MONEY IN MY HANDS THAT I'D LIKE TO BLOW)
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[/i] Unluckily for him, it was like she was tempting him, urging him to look up at her with her soft intones of her voice. Her words were so simple and yet they started his mind spinning. He didn't look up at her, but he did speak “Go” was all that he said, perhaps she just hadn't wanted to leave without being dismissed, it was perfectly possible, but unlikely. He hoped that his voice had been loud enough for her to hear it, she never did what he asked her too, something else that he didn't like, and had never had a problem with before. Generally speaking women would fall over themselves to help him with anything. Not her though, the fact that she was set apart from the other women in this school only incensed him further. She didn't listen this time either, it didn't even sound like she was moving. The sounds from the hallway were becoming softer as the minutes ticked away, like they were at a standstill. “I don’t know what to do with you. With me.” The teenaged male side of his brain knew exactly what to do with her, but she hadn't let him. It's like she was tormenting him on purpose. Yet, he oddly understood where she was coming from, because he could have applied her words to various things that he was thinking. He had done nothing to encourage her affections, mostly because he wanted her to hate him. Even if it seemed like she as a person was incapable of hating anybody at all. Strange. He hated many people, himself more often than not, his friends, his family, almost everybody else in the school. Not all the time, but often. “Why couldn’t you have just accepted my apology that first day and let me keep on running?” He wanted to see her face, see what it was that she was doing, why she was still even here but he couldn't allow himself that. If he did, who knew what else he was going to do. So still, he said nothing. There was no clear answer for her anyway, at first it had been because she was rude, and he hated that she didn't give him the respect that he commanded off the bat. There were just so many reasons, but he understood the implications.

Despite the fact that they had never had a 'moment', despite the fact that there was nothing done on either of their parts to force them to live one another, they did. They both knew it, and hopefully she understood that it could never be. She was just different in the way that she talked to him, it could have been anybody really. It could have been anybody to honestly not know him at first glance, to not know his reputation, standing, or history before they had ever said a word to him, to treat him like he was common. But it hadn't been just anybody, it had been her and her incessant talking. For whatever reason it had been her. “I like you and I don’t know what to do about that. And I know you feel something for me because, that,” His head lowered further in his hands, so that his fingers were now gripping almost the base of his hairline, messing the hair that he had put into place earlier this morning and he couldn't even bring himself to care. She shouldn't do that, she never should have said that. She shouldn't like him, there was nothing about him to like. He was only lying to himself if he thought that there honestly was. The only person to ever love him, or even think that they loved him was just as broken and twisted as he was. “wasn’t nothing. That wasn’t you hating me. If it was, you wouldn’t have let me say no, I know that from experience.” Finally, he tore his flustered face from his hands, still burning with anger at himself, and now at some mystery being. What did she mean that she knew that from experience? Had something happened to her in her past? It would certainly explain a lot, but he was feeling an intense anger toward whoever it was that had harmed her, an anger that almost intimidated him and he knew literally nothing more than the single sentence she had just uttered. For a long few minutes he did nothing but stare at her, sitting on top of a desk a few rows from him, he stared, attempting to discern some sort of meaning from her eyes but found nothing. She wasn't going to give him any more than that apparently.

She was right, it wasn't nothing but he would be damned if he said anything other than that it was nothing to her. “Merlin's bread Krane. I'm not going to sodding rape you” he grew frustrated at the implication that anybody could have ever hurt her like that and it forced him from the desk that he had been sitting at. He didn't want to be with somebody that didn't want to be with him, not under any circumstances. He liked to play as much as the next man but he wouldn't ever do that. Maybe if he had forced her a little more, even without going that far, it would have been enough to make her hate him. He hated himself more for even thinking it, even for just a second. He paced for a moment, with his hands laced behind his head, leaving a cool area against his skin from where his shirt had ridden up whenever he had raised his arms. He walked in a small circle, he had no idea what to say to that. Finally, he dropped his arms, letting them fall limp at his sides. “What will it take to make you hate me?” he asked honestly, turning his head toward her whenever he had finished speaking. “Say the word and I will do it.”
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I don't know about me,

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(BUT I KNOW ABOUT YOU)[/center]

[/b][/color] 1,709
outfit: This
tags: Amina
credit: gabs of a different color; @ caution 2.0[/ul][/size][/font][/left]

[Amina Krane]

Her head hung low as she leaned forward on the desk, using her arms to keep herself from falling forward off the desk. She was so torn. Why the hell didn’t she walk away? She had already asked herself that question a million times in the last minute and not once did she come up with a different answer. There was something about him that was drawing her in. That was the exact reason she didn’t leave the room after he kicked that desk. The exact reason she didn’t do what he asked when she said she wasn’t sure what to do. He had asked her to go. He wanted her to leave him here, hiding in the corner in a crumpled mess. But how could she do that? She told herself to. She really, honestly did. But her legs didn’t move. Not an inch. Not even a twitch. She couldn’t move. The only thing she was able to do? Lift her head. Her hair fell off to the side, allowing her eyes access to see the man on the other side of the room, the one she didn’t want to leave. He hadn’t moved at all. Not one bit. At least, not until her last few words. She wondered why he had looked up then she realized why. He knew what she meant behind those words. Looking down at the floor for a moment, she cursed herself for letting him even hint at that part of her, but looked back at him expressionless. He didn’t get to know that there was a dark side in her life. He didn’t get to know that a male had given her a bad experience, that there were men who didn’t realize the word no meant no. After all, it wasn’t like she held it against him. He hadn’t meant to be so violent, he hadn’t meant to disregard her. It was just… the heat of the moment. At least, that’s what she told herself.

“Merlin's bread Krane. I'm not going to sodding rape you.” At that word, she flinched. Rape. She hated that word. She hadn’t even noticed he was using her last name again. That word just overrode everything he had stated. The meaning behind it, the action of raping someone, it was worse than an unforgivable curse in her idea because it was so violating. So demeaning. It was the ultimate way a woman could be ruined was to have her will taken from her. Biting down hard on the inside of her lip, she could taste blood slowly trailing down onto her tongue. She didn’t want to think about that day. She didn’t want to have him know that a day like that existed and she didn’t want him to think she thought he would. “I know that,” she muttered, finally releasing her lip from the bite she had on it. When her eyes looked up at him again, he was moving. He had gotten up out of the desk and was now pacing. She hadn’t meant to affect him like that, to even give him a hint that it had occurred. Damn her for opening her mouth. Once again, she should have just kept it shut. But instead, she tried to make up for it. Amina had to forget about that, she had to focus on the here and now because that was the point. So she allowed a small smile to grace her lips as she watched him pace.

It was innocent enough until he raised his arms above his head, allowing that small amount of skin to show beneath the hem of his shirt. She had finally gotten the idea of him being shirtless and the ever so decadent image out of her head and then he has to go do something like that. She moved one of her hands from the desk and allowed it to press against her eyelids and forehead, hoping if she did that she could unsee what she had just saw, pushing that idea right back out of her mind. Hell, if he said that word again that would work. At least she would stop thinking about going back over to him and lacing her arms around his neck once more. Taking in a deep breath, she realized it was childish to cover her eyes to just not see him. That wouldn’t help at all. It would only make her look childish if anything. Maybe even like she wanted him to come over and, even though she did, she didn’t want him to know that. Because if he did that feeling of uncontrollable lust would overcome her again and this time, she wasn’t sure if she would be able to stop. “What will it take to make you hate me?” As her hand dropped out of the way of her face, she looked at him and realized he was completely serious. Twisting her head to the side slightly, she shook her head slightly as if she didn’t understand. “Say the word and I will do it.” He was serious.

“It’s not that simple,” she stated matter-of-factly. Shaking her head, she looked down at the floor as a smile broke out across her lips. With a soft chuckle, she looked up to him. “I don’t hate people and you should realize that by now. There’s nothing anyone can really do to make me hate them.” Her smile faded as quickly as it had come. Of course, that was a lie. People did do things to make her hate them but the hatred was only temporary. Even the man who had taken her free will from her that day earned her forgiveness only two days later and he hadn’t even apologized. She just could not foresee herself hating him for the rest of her life. To hate someone who had done something to you would be giving them power. Pretty much the only thing she could imagine not forgiving someone for was killing someone she loved. But, then again, under some circumstances she was sure she could forgive someone for even that. Pushing herself up and off the desk, she crossed her arms against her chest and began to walk in his direction. Unfortunately, the closer she got, the more the pull to him became. The stronger the lust for him overcame her. So she stopped. She stopped right at the point where she could hold it back, where she could tame the beast and keep it within its cage. Any steps further would be crossing into dangerous territory. Her arms dropped back down to her side as her thumbs looped into the belt loops on her jeans. “What makes me so unworthy? What makes this…” She pulled out one thumb from her belt loop to point between the two of them before replacing it from where it had just come as she continued, “us so damn wrong?”

[Gavin Dewhurst]

take a chance or you'll never ever know

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[/i] anything go. Something so serious, she couldn't have let that go, she just couldn't have.

He saw the look on her face whenever she realized that he knew, the tiny look away admitting to her shame, even if she wasn't brazen enough to be angry about it for herself, he was angry for her. He had been surrounded by very strong, confidant women his entire life, he didn't know how to handle somebody who was timid and shy, at least not on a log term basis. It wasn't like Amina was shy, per se, but she wasn't like the other women in his life, she wasn't his type, he didn't gravitate to her kind...just her and he had no idea why. He kept stealing glances at her, liking that the sight of him moving around seemed to fluster her, and then feeling guilty that he liked making her feel like that three seconds later. He had never been more internally conflicted in his life. He was willing to anything, anything to make her hate him, to give her the motivation to keep avoiding him, at least until summer, at least until it would no longer matter what feelings he had for anybody and he could think about anything that he wanted. There was only just over a month of school left, she couldn't just hate him until then? She had to be stronger than he was if she was so forgiving, she just had to be. “It’s not that simple,” He frowned, his fingers twitching at his sides. “Only because you won't let it be” he matched her tone for bluntness. Did he need to hit her? He could hit her, did he need to throw her around a little bit? He could do that too. Did he need to go around spinning cruel lies about the things that he had done to her, that would be easy? Did he need for force himself on her, just to break her? He could. If he had to, if it was what she needed to hate him, he would do it. Whenever she looked up at him, he looked away from her face, from her soft eyes, just looked away from everything. If only she didn't seem so genuine, if there was even the smallest hint that she was just complying with him to play with his head, leading him on or if he thought she was nothing more than a tease he might be able to rip himself away. She was just too honest. He didn't know what to do with her.

“I don’t hate people and you should realize that by now. There’s nothing anyone can really do to make me hate them.” His face must have matched the bewilderment that he felt inside. Hadn't she just said that some man had forced himself upon her? He was fairly certain that was what she meant...and she had forgiven him? It just didn't seem possible. He didn't want to accept it. Nobody was that kind. He was forced to look at her, to see her eyes, to see if she was finally lying but she wasn't. He could see it. He couldn't contain himself any longer, he was pushing, about to ask things that he had no business knowing so he turned away, with his back to her. “Was it your first time?” he asked softly, not sure why he needed to know...he just...did. He had spent the last five years making almost a career out of making woman feel good, of bringing them pleasure, he knew of a good sized handful of men in his own house who were the exact opposite of him, who got off on hurting women. It wasn't that he was exactly an advocate of women, most of the time he couldn't care less because he didn't care about many people. Certainly, it was unfortunate but it happened. It was almost accepted in the circles that he came from...but he didn't do it, wouldn't tolerate it. There was more than one man in the house that he had spent years keeping away from the two or three females that he felt were worth anything at all. Namely Avery and Kariana. He knew that since Amina had just moved here, it was unlikely that he knew the animal who had done this to her, if it had happened here he would have heard about it, the crueler students were not shy about bragging about most of their conquests. Which is an even larger part of why the girls that he had been protecting, knew nothing about the measures that he had taken to keep their bodies free from the hands of those who would force themselves on him. Care most of all, her flippant attitude had pissed off more than one male, but as long as Gavin was there, her body would always be her choice.

Repulsed he turned to face her, and noticed how close she was now standing to him, if he were to walk a few steps he could reach out and touch her. Locking eyes with her, he kept his face as passive as it could be. “I'm sorry that happened to you” not many people liked pity, and he had a feeling that she was one of them, but he hoped that she would recognize that since he didn't have much time for apologies, just what his words meant. “What makes me so unworthy? What makes this…” She really didn't want to get into this with him, but if she needed even more reasons than what he had already given her, he was certain that he could come up with as many as she needed. He had had more than enough time to think about this as of late. It had been almost all that he had thought about actually. “us so damn wrong?” Just because it felt good, didn't mean that it was. Did he really have to explain that to her? He hoped she was more intelligent than that. “I come from money, have social standing, a future and a reputation for my family to uphold. You, as I have said before, are not worthy of me or my family” he didn't have time for flings, it was too late for that sort of thing. Folding his arms across his chest he kept his eyes trained on the ground and walked slowly, like a man condemned, toward her. Bringing himself to look at her, standing less than half a foot away from her, he held his arms closer to his body with good reason. “not to mention the numerous other reasons I have already listed, I doubt that you have forgotten.” he clung to himself lest he touch her. “but what else, I'm already betrothed” there was no joy in his voice, no happiness over the thought of his impending nuptials. While he was certain that if he could have mustered up something that might have frightened her off of him, knowing that nothing could happen. “So even if nothing else matters, that does. I don't have time for 'flings'”

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I don't know about me,

[/size]
(BUT I KNOW ABOUT YOU)[/center]

[/b][/color] 1,589
outfit: This
tags: Amina
credit: gabs of a different color; @ caution 2.0[/ul][/size][/font][/left]

[Amina Krane]

“Only because you won't let it be.” Rolling her eyes, Amina ignored his comment. It wasn’t that she wouldn’t let it be simple, she just couldn’t hate someone. There was nothing in her that gave her the ability to hate. Her life wasn’t crappy, it didn’t have a terrible beginning or middle and she hoped it wouldn’t have a terrible end. Her parents loved her, her brother wasn’t as much of a brat as he could be, and she was doing great in school. She already had two relationships, neither of which had resulted in a pregnancy. What was there to be angry about? Sure there were small bumps in the road, her first ex being one of them, but she found ways to get over them just like she would find a way to get over the problem she was finding at this exact moment. He was another hurdle that she had to figure out how to get over. If he couldn’t accept what she was saying as the truth, she would just have to find a way to convince him. She would find a way to show him that the world is not full of evil people everywhere you turn, that kind people do exist and can love someone even if they don’t want to be loved. Not that she loved him or anything. At least, she didn’t think so. She’d only known him a few weeks and at this point, love seemed too far out of her reaches. She still had years to go and needed to find the right person before she could really decipher what that word meant.

As their conversation continued, his facial expression changed. She wasn’t sure what caused the confusion she was now seeing. She ran over the words over and over again and finally on the third time she realized it. Nothing anyone could do could make her hate them. That included her ex. And once again, she was giving him much more information than he really needed. More information than she wanted him to have at this point. She was spelling out one of the most traumatic moments in her life to him by accident and she barely even knew him. All she knew was he wanted her to hate him all because she was unworthy. If she was so damn unworthy, why did he care? Why did that look of confusion bear some sort of emotion inside it she hadn’t seen yet from him. “Was it your first time?” Her eyes shot down to the ground for a moment before closing. Her breathing slowed immensely as she tried not to let that day come back. She had already told him so much and here he wanted to know more, acting like he cared what had happened to her way back when. Okay, it was only a year and a half but that was way back when enough for her. She was beginning to understand how he felt when she was asking all of the questions. “Doesn’t matter,” she replied, looking back up to him. “It’s done, it’s over. I can’t fix it. I moved on.” Her words were clean cut, no emotion but following it was a small smile that she offered.

“I'm sorry that happened to you.” Amina showed a slight amount of shock at his words. She hadn’t ever expected the word sorry to come out of his mouth in the form of an apology. Maybe as he was yelling at her to stop apologizing again, she would have heard it but not in a genuine sense. After taking it in for a moment, she allowed the emotion to morph back into that innocent smile as she shrugged her shoulders, knowing all too well that if other people were to know what had happened, they would all be saying sorry. Sorry wasn’t what she wanted. As she had already said, the damage had been done and, at this point, she wasn’t very damaged. At least, not in her eyes she wasn’t. But she would take his apology anyways, mostly because she figured it would probably be the only one she would ever receive from him. Even if it was from something she didn’t want him to know, it showed that somewhere, inside that cold exterior shell that was so warm to the touch, he cared about someone other than himself. Apparently, he actually cared about women in general because if he didn’t want her to be hurt in such a manner, she couldn’t imagine him not caring about the female gender in general.

Amina was full out expecting him to repeat what he had already stated earlier about how they were wrong for each other but, surprising her again, he gave her a more clear and concise answer. It had to do with his family. That was what it all boiled down to. It was extremely unfortunate that he was already plagued by such things at a young age. No child should have to bear the weight of their family name on their shoulders. To expect so much out of one so young was just terrible. But, then again, they weren’t exactly kids anymore, were they? They nearly showed only moments ago that they knew how to be and nearly were full-fledged adults. That didn’t change her stance on the matter, however. As he moved closer, she almost felt like moving backwards but, once again, her legs were betraying her. They wouldn’t move. That pull towards him was getting stronger and she wasn’t even the one moving. It was him. She was mentally begging him to stop. She didn’t want to regret any decision she might make in a split second. After everything he had now learned tonight as well, she felt… almost as if she was naked. He knew one of her darker secrets and she felt exposed because of it. To give in and sleep with him in a classroom would only make her feel that much more vulnerable.

“But what else, I'm already betrothed.” His words stopped her thought process entirely. Though he was standing only half a foot in front of her, that no longer mattered. Those words she hadn’t expected. More insults, yes. But not for him to tell her he was already promised to another woman. “Oh.” It was pretty much all she could muster in that moment. She didn’t quite know how to react to his response. He couldn’t be much older than she was herself and marriage hadn’t even begun to cross her mind at this point. To imagine he was already planning a marriage to a woman seemed so far out in left field. “So even if nothing else matters, that does. I don't have time for 'flings.'” Shaking her head, she tried to make sense of all of it. “If you’re planned to marry someone, why even bring me in here? Why that moment before?” she asked, biting down on her lip as she tried to comprehend. She could feel the place where she had bit it moments before start to bleed again but she didn’t care. He was promised to another woman and yet had tried to sleep with her. Either he didn’t love her, she had done the same to him so it was revenge, or something even deeper was happening. “Is it by choice?” she questioned, realizing she was probably going to irritate him once again but she didn’t care. He knew something deeply personal about herself, it was about time she got something out of him.