Set Apart this Dream {Gavin}

[Amina Krane]

Detention. This had been the last one to make up for the missing assignment and it came just in time too. Finals were right around the corner and she could really use all the time she could get in studying for them. This whole detention thing was getting old and every single one pointed back to one person she could blame. First it had been because of the Gala. She had avoided classes for a week because of him and the professors hadn’t been too pleased. Luckily they had gone easy on her because of her good record since arriving at the school. That and she knew how to sweet talk her way out of nearly anything. It came with the territory. However, weeks had passed without missing a class and then she missed another one? She hadn’t gotten off so easily. The arithmancy professor had made damn sure of that. Her assignment that was due the day she had found herself trapped in a closet for hours? Denied. Until she completed seven days’ worth of detentions cleaning all of the chalk board erasers. Who the hell used those anyways? There was such a simple spell that could be used to remove chalk from the board and no erasers would ever have to get harmed in the process. Didn’t that make so much more sense? But then she wondered what her punishment would have been otherwise. Luckily today had been the last day. She had finished only ten minutes ago and was able to finally turn in the assignment. Of course, the professor had held it ransom in case she had tried to copy the answers from those who had already gotten theirs back. Luckily, her friend whom she was supposed to meet that fateful day had made it out unscathed. Amina knew her friend was smart enough to do it on her own. She only hoped she, herself, was smart enough as well.

Amina would find out in due time, but for now, she needed to get all of this chalk dust off of her. Her skin was not white by any means but today, she looked like she could stand next to a ghost and look worse off than them. Sighing, she made her way up to the Gryffindor common room. The sound of the rain pattering outside was comforting. It wasn’t slapping against the window panes which meant there was no wind to go along with the rain. It was prime weather for a run. She was going to take it. Running up the stairs to the common room, she entered through the portrait with the password as she normally did, scaled the stairs to her dormitory and quickly slipped inside. Everyone else was out at breakfast by this time, she was sure. Her detention had been early that morning to accommodate for the professor’s busy schedule that afternoon. They were having counseling sessions for Sixth years to help them determine where they wanted to go with their lives. They were only in the B’s at this point so Amina had some time to go before her appointment. Luckily, it was with a much more commendable professor who had not given her detention once this year. If someone were to look at her record since she had come to Galaxia, they would think she was a terrible student with the amount of absences and detentions. If only she could explain what was really behind all of this. But no one would understand. To say this was all over one guy who hated her to begin with? They would say she was insane. But she wasn’t. She was just persistence and in this case and nearly every case before it, her persistence had paid off.

Quickly changing into a pair of her black running shorts, a purple tank (with a built in sports bra for good measure), and her black running shoes, Amina quickly made her way back out of the Gryffindor commons. She could so easily go down and join eating breakfast with everyone else but she had eaten so much earlier before detention. She had made sure not to go on an empty stomach. The first round of detentions she had done just that and part way through, her stomach was growling so bad with hunger, the professor had heard it across the room. Not to mention, inhaling chalk dust on an empty stomach seemed to cause a nauseating feeling. Today she had gone to breakfast first then detention which had meant skipping her morning run. At least this way, she still got in her run and she was much less likely to be disturbed with the question of What the hell is that white powder all over you? She jogged down the stairs as she normally did, using that as a quick warm up on the days where she didn’t want to spend long outside just mindlessly jogging before the real fun began.

As she reached the bottom of the staircase, she could hear the clanging dishes, the forks and knives hitting each other as people cut apart their meat dishes, but there was very little chatter. Most everyone was studying for something. She couldn’t imagine having her nose in the books over breakfast. She needed time off. Luckily, she had her runs to help with that. She pushed open the front doors of the castle just enough for her thin frame to slip through and then shut them again. The sound of the rain filled her ears, a sound she adored hearing. With a smile, she took her first step out into the warm rain. It immediately drenched her skin, causing her to nearly glisten in the lights of the lamps lining the paths. Her hair, which was up in a ponytail, began dripping down her back almost immediately. She loved it. Taking off at a near sprint, she felt the rain pelt her face. There wasn’t any wind, but when she was moving, there might as well have been. She could feel the rain trying to soak through her tank top and shorts. Her shoes were rather resistant to the rain but she wasn’t sure how long they would last. First her socks would begin to soak through, then it would start to drain down into her shoe and soak it from the inside out. But that was the beauty of drying spells. They took the water out of nearly everything.

Amina allowed her feet to carry her where they felt like going. She had ventured every corner of the grounds on her runs and knew practically everywhere there was to go. The only part she hadn’t ventured was near the forest. She decided now was as good a time as any. If it began to hail, at least she would have cover. So she chose the path leading off to the edge of the forest. As she did so, the thoughts that normally flooded her head as she ran came right back into play. She hadn’t seen him since that day in the closet. The day where the two of them had a moment she was sure she would never forget. Ever since that day, she had been looking over her shoulder, hoping he would come out of nowhere again and pull her into another unknown room, do things to her she dreamed of nearly every night. He had told her to stay single, to not sleep with anyone. She wasn’t sure what he thought she was, if he really thought she slept with men on such an often occasion that she would do so almost immediately, but she had done as he had asked. Of course, it was no skin off her back. The only males she was close to, she was sure did not have feelings for her therefore he had nothing to fear. But why would he say that unless he had plans for them to get together again? And the bigger question begged her attention. Was he doing the same? Would he stay away from all of those women she knew he slept with?

Oh yeah, she knew he got around. A man with his skills had to have gotten around. She hadn’t heard his name before she had run into him but it seemed like after that day, it cropped up in multiple places. Plenty of women went around mentioning the men they had slept with and how good they were. He happened to be on the top of most of their lists. It bugged her that she wasn’t the only one to share in the experience, but he wasn’t exactly her first either. The only thing she could hope was that she had an experience none of the others had. After all, how many of them could say they knew about his arranged marriage? She was pretty sure none but she hadn’t said anything. In fact, she hadn’t even told Victoria about her rendezvous with him in the supply closet. He was her dirty little secret just like she was his. Not even running through the rain could rid her of that filthy knowledge but she didn’t care. She wanted to hold on to it. Even if there may not be a prospect of them being a permanent relationship, she would still try. She would make him see he could get out of this arranged marriage. What it would take, she wasn’t sure but when she put her mind to something, she would make it happen.

[Gavin Dewhurst]

and i'm terrified,

[/size]
(FOR THE FIRST AND THE LAST TIME)
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[/i] know her schedule, but he did knew the basics. She was going to most of the same classes that he was, camping out in the library in her spare time attempting to cram for finals, just like he was. She kept looking at him, she would stare at him for prolonged periods of time which was going to get them both in trouble if she wasn't careful. It was like she didn't care that he couldn't actually be with her. He had even spotted her wearing that shirt that he had left in the closet that one day in a knotted off mid-drift style that was still so popular with the females. He hated how happy that made him, even if he did know better. He knew that she ate lunch after the rest of the students and that she was always surrounded by an annoying mass of other Gryffindor students at dinner. The same group that Regulus was normally going off on, insulting in some way or another. In the past, Gavin would have just laughed along with his commentaries, but now he was taking it more personal than he should have. It was disgusting, humiliating. He knew what he needed to do, but he just kept telling himself that he could put it off just a little bit longer. He could wait till after term was over, since he wouldn't have to be seeing her anyway, he could take his ring back then. He could break off whatever it was that they were doing, the lusty stares, the diverted smiles, whatever the hell it was he needed to break it off before anybody saw, before they were found out. It wouldn't go over well by the masses. And yet, he just kept putting it off. His feet had carried him away from his group of friends before he even knew what was happening. They had been heading back up into the castle since the rain had started and they had classes to get to anyway. It was Gavin's study period, then lunch. He had no interest in that anyway. Yet, he knew that for appearance's sake, he should have gone back into the castle. The sight of Amina however, running into the woods in such tight clothing, soaking wet, was an opportunity that he just couldn't walk away from.

It had been exceedingly difficult to not see her. To keep to his normal schedule. Sure, the normal things that were mandatory were perfectly easy. He had upped his Quidditch practices to eight hours daily instead of his normal six. He had made sure to attend every meal and every class. Which, normally he could have easily skipped at least one meal so long as he had a few cups of coffee. Not to mention the detentions that he had been having twice a week since their little encounter in the closet. They were supposed to keep going all the way until exams were actually going to stop. The caretaker had wanted them to continue until after term he had been so pissed off. Not to mention the students who had ended up in the hospital wing to have boils removed from their bodies. So detentions, with sleep still left him a good three to four hours of unclaimed time during the day. Given that he now had a very disgruntled best friend that was angry with him half of the time, it was getting more difficult to socialize and not allow him mind to drift off to the thoughts of the woman who now wore his ring. He had seen it on her during classes, sometimes on her hand and sometimes around her neck suspended by a chain. Nobody seemed to have question it besides Kariana. Nobody else really paid enough attention to his hands to notice that the one item of jewelry he had kept on since he was ten was no longer on his hand, the one spot on his index finger that had a band of very pale flesh went unnoticed by most of his male friends. Which was why he was hanging out with them more and more. Seeing that ring on her, had made him proud. Like he had branded her somehow, like she was proudly displaying that she was his territory, even if nobody else knew. Even if nobody else could know..it was like their secret. Well, their and Kariana's. That woman had a way of finding everything out, always. Not like he had tried to hide it from her exactly, she had made her thoughts of the woman perfectly clear at the Gala. Not to mention that Amina was now the reason that Gavin was no longer sleeping with her, something that seemed to be bothering her more than anything else.

Of course Gavin knew that nobody would ever be able to compare to his skills, but he was sure that maybe in time, Kariana would be able to find something that she could at least tolerate long enough to train? She had been rather moody about the whole thing. Shouting at him for no reason, or storming off for more practice. Usually, at least three times a week they would take their morning runs together, but lately they had been taking those runs in silence. He knew that she wanted to be doing another activity, just as well as he understood that she respected his choices. He knew exactly what she was thinking, he would always know what she was thinking because he would always be thinking the exact same thing. He understood, really he understood why she kept excusing herself from his presence and avoiding him for hours on end. She had seen it on Amina, she knew what it meant and she had already told Gavin that he was blindingly stupid for giving into his temptations, that he knew better. Truth was, he did know better, he knew it meant nothing. That it couldn't ever turn into anything but he couldn't help himself. He wanted Amina to have it. He wanted to see it on her hand. He knew that his mothers ring would never Grace Amina's, or even the other woman who would have loved to wear his mothers engagement ring...that was reserved for the french trollop but at the very least Amina could wear his family's crest. It was going to be the absolute closest that they were ever going to come to being together.

He was forced to keep his momentum up, jogging at a steady pace while pulling the hood of his sweatshirt over his head. If he stopped, the ground that had rapidly turned to mud was going to force him to slip and fall, he couldn't be that undignified, it would have been unacceptable of a Dewhurst. Falling on the ground, all covered in mud. Yet, his feet carried him after her none the less, specks of mud and earth flying up and clinging to the bottoms of his pants legs and caking to the bottom of his shoes. Once he got past the tree line he no longer needed his head to be covered, he was as soaked as he was going to be. Sure, the rain was coming down hard enough that it was making it past the canopy of leaves and branches, but not enough for him to worry about catching a cold. Lowering his hood he looked about for her feet, he hadn't been that far behind her. It wasn't long before he heard her, even though the water was softening the branches enough that they weren't snapping with quite the same snap, he found her none the less. Walking slowly, his breath already back to normal from such leisurely activity he called out to her. “That forest is strictly forbidden little lady” She would know his voice, she had to so long as she didn't have that stupid muggle contraption blasting that noise into her ears. How she could stand it he would never understand. Coming up behind her he picked up his jog again, scooping her up into his arms, tossing her over his shoulder just like he had whenever he had saved her from the whomping willow their first meeting. At least she had managed to steer clear of that from then on. He could feel her tiny fists on his back, playfully protesting. Whenever he had reached a clearing away from the treeline he stopped, allowing her to slide down his body, his fingers catching on her purple tank top as she moved down to where she was standing. His growth spurt had finally finished, from the looks of things and he was now standing at a lean six foot three. Finally he was putting some of his weight back on. Finally. “Hello” he said, tugging at her shirt suggestively, it had been over a week since he had held her.

His lips moved to hers quickly, wanting to make up for lost time, peeling the heavy, water laden sweatshirt from his own body in the process. He had always loved the feel of the earth on his chest, the cool water being soaked up by his skin, it was wonderful. To be sharing it with her, was even better. Of course, he had meant to just talk to her, but being so close to her, her body seemed to have other ideas. “Where's my ring?” it wasn't condescending, he just wanted to see it on her. As he lifted her shirt from her body he saw it suspended from a chain around her neck. Grinning he let his lips move down to her neck, running over her wet skin. Blindly, he felt out a large rock with his hand, and placed his sweatshirt over it, not so that it could dry, but so that he would have something to position the two of them on for the events that he had planned. He hated to admit it, but he had missed her and her incessant questions. He could feel her hands fumbling for his belt as he peeled her wet running shorts from her body. He wasn't going to be able to wait much longer. Placing her on top of his sweatshirt he moved toward her.

X

Whenever they had finished, and redressed for no other reason the amount of cold shaking that they had been doing, he had dried their clothing, even if it was just going to keep getting wet. Gavin hadn't even bothered with his sweatshirt, it was far too heavy to bother with. Instead, he was sitting on the forest floor, looking up at her where she was still positioned on the rock. His eyes kept going from hers to his ring around her neck wordlessly. He didn't even know what to say to her, somehow this felt awkward now. He just wanted to keep having sex with her, then there would be no need for talking. Yet, they had been at it long enough and his body was tired. He had been up since four this morning, and had already endured three hours of Quidditch practice and no food.
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everybody has a dark side

[/size]
(COULD YOU LOVE ME? COULD YOU LOVE MINE?)[/center]

[/b][/color] 2,209
outfit: This
tags: Amina
song:Hoobastank - This is Gunna hurt
credit: gabs of a different color; @ caution 2.0[/ul][/size][/font][/left]

[Amina Krane]

The chalk dust was finally starting to come clean from her skin. Who needed a shower when there was a perfectly good rainstorm to remove the impurities? She could feel her skin losing that dry, gritty feeling but something told her that feeling was going to stay under her fingernails for weeks. After her first detention, she had managed to rid herself of the dust that was hiding under the crevasses. Each detention after that, however, it became that much harder to the point where the last time had taken her four days to get it clean and, in the process, she nearly cut her cuticle. When it had reached that point, she had quit and decided to live with it. She had tried to find some sort of spell that would remove it without damaging the sensitive skin, but she had no luck. The only way was time, and plenty of hand washing and manicuring. But she would live with it. It wasn’t that important. What was important was the fact that her lungs were clear of the dust she had inhaled this morning. One clap had come right as she had coughed from the previous one and she managed to inhale the equivalent of a full stick of chalk. It went away rather quickly because, otherwise, she would have been out of breath by now with it clogging up her airways. Instead, what she was, was wet. Not out of breath. Just plain wet. The rain had soaked through every piece of clothing she was wearing and was nipping at her skin, trying to make her cold. The blood pumping through her body was going to make that a difficult task for the rain, however.

“That forest is strictly forbidden little lady.” Amina chuckled. Who was he calling little lady? Sure she was nearly a foot shorter than he was, but so what? She hoped he hadn’t grown much more from their last interaction. If so, she was going to look like a midget next to him. The thought of how long it had been since their last interaction made her slightly peeved. He said he was going to find her but why had it taken so damn long? She didn’t get upset though. She knew they both had other things going on in their lives so when they got together, she was going to enjoy it. Which was why her smile remained rather than getting replaced by frustration. She thought about slowing down so he could catch up but that was obviously an advantage he didn’t need because as she was contemplating doing so, he had reached her. She thought he was just going to cut her off, make a scene since it was probably the only time he could ever do so considering no one else was near them on the grounds and you couldn’t hear anything from more than five feet away because of the rain, but, instead, he picked her up. And he didn’t just pick her up, he slung her over his shoulder like he had done that first day they had met. Oh the memories of only a few months before. He had saved her from that murderous tree by slinging her over his arm and after they were at a safe distance, she had merely tried to get to know him when he so clearly denied her access to his life. He had wanted nothing to do with her. As she playfully pounded her fists lightly against his back, she thought about how much the times had changed in just a short period. This time she didn’t mind him carrying her, holding her like she was his, because at this point, she was. And all she had wanted in the last two weeks was to be back in her arms. Finally she had gotten her wish. If she could stay in his arms, she was pretty sure she would be satisfied forever.

Amina was slightly disappointed when she noticed the rain was dramatically lightening up. She loved being out in the rain but she was pretty sure she knew where they were headed: deeper into the forbidden forest where their forbidden romance could continue without interruption. What a prime place for such a thing. When they were finally at a clearing, he allowed her down. As she slid down to a standing position, her hands slid right down him with her, remaining on his chest as his hands went straight for the hem of her tank top. It had been the first time since she had seen his face in the last two days due to increased study habits and detentions, but it hadn’t changed much at all. At this point, it was dripping with rain water just as much as hers was. To her dismay, he had gotten taller but she didn’t care. After their last meeting, she no longer minded looking up to him. ”Hello.” Just a simple word but it was all she needed. “Hi,” she replied, barely able to get the single syllable out before he was tugging at her tank top, his lips hastily making their way to hers. She returned the kiss, only to have him pull away as he removed his drenched sweatshirt.

”Where’s my ring?” What did he think she had done with it? Since he had put it on her thumb, she had hardly taken it off. The longest it had stayed off her person was when she was switching it from her finger to the chain that it was on now. She had switched it only about two to three times and it was only on those days where her shirt was just low cut enough that the ring kept trying to hide in between her breasts. She didn’t know if he had noticed all of the times where they had caught glimpses of one another, but she had almost been showing it off. At the time, she couldn’t tell if that had upset him or not, her so outlandishly brandishing his ring, but she assumed not since he had never cornered her and told her to hide it better. It had been a sign of hope for the last to weeks that she would see him again soon. Today was no different. As he pulled off her tank top, he exposed both her and the ring to the open air. She had tucked it inside of the tank top just like she had every time she had gone running, just to ensure it didn’t find its way off of the necklace and onto the ground where she would surely never see it again. “Right where I want it to be.” And right where she wanted him to be, and he was. She caught a glimpse of his grin before his lips were against her neck. Her body rolled up into his, her hands sliding down his chest to his belt where she proceeded to work on getting him just as naked as he was trying to get her.
~~~
She couldn’t remember being this cold after their first time, but the difference in the temperature of the area surrounding them was substantial. Even after Gavin had dried off her clothes and she had slipped them back on, she still hadn’t warmed up as much as she would have liked to. Her body was still pumping blood quickly through her, though, so she was beginning to get that warmth back. The only real plus was it wasn’t freezing rain outside and the trees were doing a decent job of keeping them from getting soaked again, only letting a few large rain drops slip through the canopy they created overhead. She sat against the same rock that he had put her on while he sat down on the forest floor across form her. One of her hand was holding the rock behind her to make sure she didn’t make a clutsy move and fall sideways, while the other was at her neck, running over the edges of the ring still hanging from the gold chain. She could tell this was awkward for him. She wondered how many women he stuck around with after they had sex. At this point, she assumed it wasn’t many.

“How’d you manage to find me? I figured you’d be inside eating breakfast or something.” Her words seemed strange. She was used to casual talk with other people, but not with him. And especially not after having sex with him. She liked it though. The last time they had barely exchanged a few sentences before they were torn apart, and most of the words had been him telling her not to go off and be with another man. She had abided by his request and she hoped he understood that, even if he may have seen her surrounded by a few men during their time apart. After all, she couldn’t stay away from Wilhelm. He was her best friend. It would take a lot more than Gavin to keep the two of them apart. At this point, though, she hoped they would be able to talk more. It was something she wished they would do much more of because there wasn’t any harm in it. It wasn’t like she was going to go and tell the world about everything he may admit to her. If so, he would have already heard things coming back full circle. She hadn’t even told Victoria about them sleeping together. All her roommate knew was that Amina was interested in him. She didn’t even know the full story of what had transpired in that fourth floor classroom two months ago. Amina had wondered more times than not if telling Victoria about what was going on between her and Gavin would result in her flipping out as much as she would expect Wilhelm to if he even found out she had looked at a Slytherin with anything but hate.

Deciding now was as good a time as any to get information out of him, Amina moved from her place on the rock and sat next to him on the forest floor. “You know, it wouldn’t kill you to tell me more about yourself. There are still tons of things I want to know. Like your family. Any siblings or are you an only child? What do your parents do for a living? Even if we just talk about Quidditch. Something.” She was pleading with him, no doubt and she hoped he would take pity on her and come clean with some more insight into him. “At this point all I really know about you is that you play Quidditch, although I don’t know the position, you are arranged to be married to a woman who you don’t even know and may not even like, and you have a side to you that you hate to show but I think is the best part about you.” Sighing softly, she laid back on the soggy leaves. “Dare I say it, but you could talk to me like, I dunno, a friend?” She looked over at him, knowing full well she had just presented a word he was not comfortable with in regards to her. On multiple occasions, he had stated they would never be friends. She hoped that maybe, something had changed. That he would see having a friendship with her wasn’t going to be the end of his life or the world. Just maybe they could have something more than this relationship that she couldn’t even begin to label.

[Gavin Dewhurst]

and i'm terrified,

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(FOR THE FIRST AND THE LAST TIME)
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[/i] There were so many answers to that question. It wasn't like she was exactly easy to miss. Even for somebody who wasn't attracted to her like he was, she stood out. Her pale skin and darker than should have been natural hair, she didn't sit well with the rest of her house. For more reasons than one. Nor to mention she was friends with that oafish student that annoyed just about everybody who came into contact with him, and he was loud as well. He should have been inside eating, he should have been inside with his friends, not attempting to make awkward conversation with the woman who he had far too many feelings for. “I have eyes” He stated simply, knowing full well that it was going to incense her. Rubbing absently at a sore spot on his thigh he watched her, expression blank as ever. As far as he could tell, from the times that he hadn't been able to stop from watching her, it seemed like she had been following his request. He did want her to leave her male friends, he should have been the only male in her life. He was the jealous, possessive type. Yet, he permitted her friendships for no other reason than the fact that it would have seemed strange for her to exile herself away from everybody so suddenly. He had only just squashed their rumors after all.

His eyes rolled from where she had been sitting to the spot that she had just moved to, now his sweatshirt was going to be dirty. Sighing, he waited for her inevitable questions to start. Sure enough, she didn't disappoint, no sooner had she sat down, did she start talking. His eyes closed, delighting in the throaty quality that her voice had taken on after their little romp. “You know, it wouldn’t kill you to tell me more about yourself. There are still tons of things I want to know. Like your family. Any siblings or are you an only child? What do your parents do for a living? Even if we just talk about Quidditch. Something.” Why did she have to keep pressing. Couldn't she just allow herself to be happy in this moment and time, he didn't want this. Couldn't she understand that? Like pulling teeth he exhaled, knowing that she wasn't going to stop. He had already told her more about himself than he had almost anybody else in the damned Castle, but she couldn't realize that. No doubt. “I have one brother, older, works for Gringotts” he admitted, he envied his brother, the happily employed bachelor, not to mention he was dashing. No strains, nobody pressing on him. IN fact, most of the time the family left him totally alone. Something he knew that Everett enjoyed immensely. “My mother is a homemaker, and I cannot tell you what my father does. Quidditch is just about the only thing that I am willing to discuss with you in any further detail” he felt that he had answered all of her questions, even if she wasn't going to be 'satisfied' with the answers that she had gotten thus far. Yet, as always, it was the truth, plain and simple, cut and dry.

“Dare I say it, but you could talk to me like, I dunno, a friend?” She was reading into this, over thinking it. Despite the things that he had told her so far in their limited relationship, she wasn't getting it. Shaking his head bitterly, he rose to his feet and crossed to the small stream cutting apart their clearing in the trees. “I've already told you that's not going to happen”more than before, he wanted to run, he wanted to get away from her and here until he had the desire to be with her again. Questions were not part of their agreement. Turning back to her, his face darkening my the moment he shook his head. “we are not friends Amina” involuntarily, his voice caressed her name with more velvet than he had intended. She was going to ask what they were. That had to be the first place that her thoughts jumped to next. Holding up a hand he shook his head once more, urging her not to say it. “Did I, or did I not tell you the last time, that nothing had changed.” the look in his eyes stated that was obviously a rhetorical question. His palm turned upward as his shoulder shrugged before allowing his arm to drop to his side. “It still hasn't. I have spelled out my reservations toward you time and time again, you cannot be thick enough that I need to do it again. I give your mind more credit than that” it was just about the closest thing to a complement that he would ever imagine giving her. Without his body doing it for him of course.
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everybody has a dark side

[/size]
(COULD YOU LOVE ME? COULD YOU LOVE MINE?)[/center]

[/b][/color] 1,144
outfit: This
tags: Amina
song:Hoobastank - This is Gunna hurt
credit: gabs of a different color; @ caution 2.0[/ul][/size][/font][/left]

[Amina Krane]

The rain drops falling on her face at a steady pace could have felt like some sort of torture, but to Amina it was almost relaxing. To steady beat of the rain on her cheek, slowly rolling down the side of her face to the base of her ear, then rolling back down behind her ear until finally sliding down into her drenched hair. She was sure the underneath of her was getting dirty against the ground but she didn’t mind. Part of her wished she had worn a jacket and pants when she had left but her bare arms and legs against the leaves was actually comforting. It was like a soft bed, even though it was cold and wet. She placed her hands on her stomach, as she waited to hear something from him. Anything. She wanted to know more about this situation, if it was real or if it was just some fake scenario he was playing out for the fun of it. “I have eyes.” Her eyes narrowed but since she wasn’t looking at him, her frustration was only directed at the trees above her. Why was he always so snarky? Couldn’t he just reply to her question with an answer that didn’t have a tone behind it? Oh, I saw your purple top or I saw you walking out of the castle. Those were easy enough responses that did not have any negative connotation behind it. She would have accepted either of those but no, he had to provide some snarky comment instead just to get her upset. She knew that was the point. He always seemed to try and make her upset. Damn him. “Whatever,” she said with a sigh, putting her hands behind her head and locking her fingers together.

“I have one brother, older, works for Gringotts.” Amina popped up so fast that she looked like a mole in the whack a mole game. She propped herself up on her elbows with slightly wide eyes. Had she actually gotten through? Was she going to start finding out things about him more than he was really good in bed. Although, then again, she didn’t know if he was good in bed because so far, they had done it in a closet and against a rock. Not so much a bed. But that didn’t matter. What mattered is he admitted information about a brother. So he had a brother who worked at Gringott’s. How studious. Somehow she didn’t see Gavin taking the same path, but probably because of his like of Quidditch. It was about the only thing she knew he liked and from the way he had spoken about it before, she imagined he would want a career choice that was more interesting than sitting behind a desk with a goblin. “My mother is a homemaker, and I cannot tell you what my father does. Quidditch is just about the only thing that I am willing to discuss with you in any further detail.” Her eyes narrowed back down to their normal size as a smile crept across her lips. She nodded slightly, even though he was sure he probably didn’t see it. He had finally given her information and it wasn’t just a few words. There were actual sentences coming out of his mouth. “Understood,” she said, basking in the glory of getting her way one more time before lying back down on the ground.

“Did I, or did I not tell you the last time, that nothing had changed.” Her eyes looked over at him without her getting up. Her smile faded rather quickly. Apparently nothing had changed. She had gotten information from him but it was obviously as begrudgingly as she hoped it hadn’t been. He didn’t want to tell her anything. He didn’t want to talk. She was there for a good shag and then he was done with her. Rolling to the side, she put one arm under her head and put the other one off to the side. She bit down on her lip to keep from saying anything. She was upset, but he didn’t get to know that. No one got to know when she was upset unless it got bad enough. He hadn’t crossed that line since the first day and she doubted he was going to cross that line again. But, then again, he still had time to make it worse. “It still hasn't. I have spelled out my reservations toward you time and time again, you cannot be thick enough that I need to do it again. I give your mind more credit than that.” Sitting up quickly, she grabbed a handful of soaked leaves, tossing them in his direction. Of course, they didn’t go far which she hadn’t intended for them to but that didn’t matter. She didn’t want to show anger but he was starting to treat her like a play toy and she wasn’t going to stand for it. “Seriously? Reservations or not, I’m human Gavin.” She put pressure on her knee as she stood up. The same hand joined her other at the back of her neck where she pulled the chain up and over her head.

She had half a mind to toss it in his direction but instead she held it in front of her, staring at the ring as it twirled one direction or a few turns, then back the other for a few less, then back again until finally, it just swayed back and forth in her hand. “I had thought this meant something to you. That giving me this meant you felt something towards me. When you gave it to me, you had that look in your eye that I wasn’t just some girl you had laid in a closet.” Gripping the chain harder in her fist, she looked from it to him. “How many women have you given this ring to, huh? Five? Ten? More?” Her hand dropped to the side, the necklace still in her grasp. This had been the longest thus far that she had not been wearing it on her person, and yet, it was still in her hand. She couldn’t stand to part with it even for a moment. Not until she knew the truth. “What does this all mean to you? Is it some sort of game? Let’s see how fast I can get the Gryffindor into bed then fuck with her head?” The language that had exited her mouth almost startled her as she turned around, putting her free hand through her hair and her fisted hand against her forehead. The ring gently rubbed against her cheek as she stood there for a moment. “If that’s your intention. You did a pretty damn good job but I’m tired of being some toy for you. I can’t keep doing this so if all of this really is just a game and all I am here for is your sexual pleasure, then please, take this back,” she added, holding out the ring to her side. She didn’t want to look at him. It would make the words that much harder because even if he didn’t have feelings for her, she had feelings for him and she would be damned if she let them go, but she wasn’t about to be considered some sort of ‘friends with benefits’ relationship, less the friends portion. She wasn’t with benefits. That was not how she imagined living life and no matter what burrowed feelings she had for him, she wasn’t going to succumb to that lifestyle.

[Gavin Dewhurst]

and i'm terrified,

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(FOR THE FIRST AND THE LAST TIME)
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[/i] her voice was just as angry as he had ever heard it, but it meant nothing to him. He just couldn't take her anger seriously. He nodded with her words, as if he was discrediting them as soon as she said them. She would understand, she would accept the truth, eventually. If she needed to be angry to get there, that was fine. He could take her. She was easily disarmed. At least, until she stood up and removed the golden chain from her neck.

His emotions changed so quickly he should have given himself whiplash. Gavin's smile disappeared from his face, his eyes instantly narrowing taking on a darkened quality. What the hell did she think that she was doing? Was she trying to hurt him? Because it was working. She had no idea, No idea what she was doing. His eyes watched the heirloom antique ring flow up and over her head, dangling from her hand carelessly. If only she knew exactly how much that ring was worth, what it meant to him. His breath caught in his chest, coming out as a rattle between his clenched teeth. She was punishing him for being honest with her? He wouldn't stand for this. His eyes watched the spinning ring, his eyes following every minute movement of it, each refraction of light as it spun. She needed to put it back on, instantly. The hand against his face rolled into a fist, pressed against his lips firmly. He wanted to rip it from her hands, admonish her for being so careless with something so damn important to his family, to him.”What are you doing?” he choked out, like the words were physically painful for him. They were. If anything happened to that ring...she was going to be sorry. If she no longer wanted it, then she could hand it back to him and be out on her way. He would never bother her again. Yet, since he knew of her feelings toward him, he had to assume she was only attempting to wound him the only way she knew how. “I had thought this meant something to you. That giving me this meant you felt something towards me. When you gave it to me, you had that look in your eye that I wasn’t just some girl you had laid in a closet.” Well that was unfortunate. He would have to be more careful to better conceal his emotions in the future then. She wasn't supposed to see that, but it too, was the truth. “Put it back on” he commanded, his tone gravely serious. This wasn't funny. Whatever point she was trying to make, she had made it.

“How many women have you given this ring to, huh? Five? Ten? More?” That hurt. He may have slept with a lot of woman, but that was because he held so little value in physical intimacy. It meant next to nothing to him, just a means to an end. There were other things that he had done with Amina, and only Amina. She should have recognized that by now, he was still standing here wasn't he? Listening to her squirrel chatter and answering her questions, she couldn't be that stupid. He had better taste than that. His body recoiled like he had been burned whenever she swung the necklace at him, lashing out with her words, his chest jerking at the sharp intake of breath that he felt whenever she let it look like she was going to drop the thing on the ground. It physically pained him to see it flung around, before he had given it to her, he had never allowed it to leave his hand. Ever. “Nobody.” he forced out, his jaw still tense, his tone low, threatening. “only you Krane” now both hands were balled, his posture rigid, he was afraid to move, not even wanting to breath lest she get even more crazy than she was acting and flung it somewhere that he wouldn't be able to find it. “What does this all mean to you? Is it some sort of game? Let’s see how fast I can get the Gryffindor into bed then fuck with her head?” Her language was disgusting, not things that a lady should utter. It was a good thing that she wasn't in a relationship with him, he wouldn't permit her to speak that way. She understood nothing. “If that’s your intention. You did a pretty damn good job but I’m tired of being some toy for you. I can’t keep doing this so if all of this really is just a game and all I am here for is your sexual pleasure, then please, take this back,” Merlin why was she so damn blind. Finally, he tore his eyes from the ring that she was offering back to him, to her face.

His eyes glared into her, condescending. His knuckles were turning white from the strain that he was putting on himself. He hoped that he was frightening her, she should be frightened. No, he wouldn't hurt her. He just needed her to understand that this sort of behavior wasn't alright. Taking a slow step toward her, he took another whenever she didn't move. He could grab the ring, but he didn't. “Do not ever threaten me with that again. Put. It. Back” he said nothing else to her, didn't move until she had complied. He didn't know how to make her understand, this wasn't about her. It wasn't about him. He had contracts to uphold, his family name and all that they expected from him. “Do not ever remove it from your body again unless you are no longer interested in me” Like that was ever going to happen. She needed to find another way to express herself, because this wasn't going to work. As soon as her hand was free and his ring was secured around her neck he grabbed her, by the shoulders with some force. His lips descended on hers almost painfully, his teeth capturing her bottom lip and biting, softly. He forced her backward, walking the two of them to the large tree opposite the rock from earlier. Her skin be damned. It wasn't punishment, per se since she was ensured to enjoy it, but he had no other outlet for his anger that wasn't going to actually injure her. His hands moved to her hips, not bothering to be gentle, this wasn't for her, it was for him. Sliding her running shorts down just low enough to access the parts of her that he wanted at this moment in time he unbuttoned his pants and let them fall off of his hips. He didn't step out of them, he didn't bother with the niceties, Spinning her around until her arms were wrapped partially around the tree and he was behind her. His lips brushed the exposed part of her shoulder, moving her hair away from her back and over toward her chest.

X

The rain had picked up significantly by the time that they were finished, but his body had blocked most of the water from hitting her skin, just the smallest droplets managed to cling to her hair, but the entire back half of his body was soaked. Sliding her shorts back over her backside he kissed her shoulder softly, stepping backward to pull his pants back over his own waist and doing up the button. Moving back to her he sighed, spinning her back around, hugging her close to his body, his firm loose, but knew he could stop her if she tried to move away from her. Gavin's lips pressed into her sweet smelling hair he sighed. “As long as you wear that ring. I will remain faithful to the relationship that we cannot have” he resigned, stepping away from her. Knowing that there was no way that they could label what they had, they couldn't. Just as he couldn't confess his feelings to her, he couldn't. She would just have to know that they were there, take it on faith if she could. “I told you this couldn't happen, and it will not be easy. You will get hurt.” He couldn't look at her, but it was the truth. It would always be the hurt. “But I will give you what I can” his lips sloped upward into a half smile “You're only the second woman that I've ever kissed” he admitted, hopefully that would give her enough to sustain her.



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everybody has a dark side

[/size]
(COULD YOU LOVE ME? COULD YOU LOVE MINE?)[/center]

[/b][/color] 1,874
outfit: This
tags: Amina
song:Hoobastank - This is Gunna hurt
credit: gabs of a different color; @ caution 2.0[/ul][/size][/font][/left]

[Amina Krane]

“Nobody. Only you Krane.” The words kept replaying in her head as she stood there with the ring held out. She hoped he would just take it and go, just so she wouldn’t have to be a part of his mind games anymore but what if he was telling the truth? If Gavin really hadn’t given the ring to anyone else but her, then why was he treating her so poorly? Was this really all because of social status? Had everything he had stated thus far really been the truth for him? Amina could not imagine that every piece of his life had to have an agenda that fit into the status quo and if it didn’t, he had to find some other way around it. It was almost as if she had just become part of his daily life struggle and he was trying to figure out a quick fix for the problem. But she hardly could imagine her being such a problem. She was just a girl who had been sorted into Gryffindor and had a family with little to their name at the present moment. Was he really going to hold that against her? Or was it more like his family that he didn’t want to speak about would hold her against him? He had stated previously that they would never work. Maybe it was nothing to do with society not agreeing with her house, but his own family. She couldn’t imagine why but mostly because her parents were open to anything, as long as the one she chose was pureblood, of course.

When she heard him take a step towards her, she looked over her shoulder to him. There was no reason for it, she could have stayed there and waited, but something told her to look at his face. To see what his reaction was to this entire thing before he made his way over to her. The look caused a chill up her spine, though, and it wasn’t one of those good chills she got when his hand touched the small of her back, or the crawling feelings he got when his hand lingered on the sensitive part of her stomach. He was furious. She could see the truth in his eyes. She had been the only one and this ring had meant something. Her taking it off had spurred something in him that she was sure she did not want to see. Never once had she wanted to see an angry Gavin and that was what she had right now. “Do not ever threaten me with that again. Put. It. Back.” Amina wasn’t one to be afraid, but the tone in his voice gave her the urgency she needed to obey. She almost felt like if she didn’t, something bad was going to happen. So she turned around to face him completely and put the chain back at its spot around her neck. The cold metal against her skin was actually relieving, spreading a comfort across her that she had forgotten about since she had taken it off. It was right back where it belonged and she knew it. She just wished the circumstances on which she knew it were different, more appealing.

“Do not ever remove it from your body again unless you are no longer interested in me.” With a slow nod, she agreed silently. She had never really wanted to take it off, but she needed something from him. Anything to ensure this was real and she had gotten the assurance, even if it was trailed with anger she didn’t ask for. Her and angry people did not mix well and she figured, at this point, he would have realized that but apparently she had been wrong because he was showing it. Her eyes left his and went to the ground as her hands trailed down from the gold chain, one stopping at the ring and the other falling to her side. Part of her expected that to be the end of it, for him to go trailing off into the distance. It seemed to be a habit of theirs, to end their meeting with one of them running away. But he didn’t do that. Instead, he came right over to her. The gentleness that he had shown each time their bodies had been intertwined was non-existent when his hands grabbed her shoulders. His lips came on top of hers with such fervor, she was wondering if they were going to need the Jaws of Life to separate them. But something was different. There was anger in the kiss. It was only confirmed as he bit down on her lip. It wasn’t hard, but it was enough for her to feel it and let out a soft moan, her hands going up to his chest to protest. However, it did no good as he pushed her back into the tree. Her tank top took the brunt of the hit but she could feel her bare shoulder blades slightly grazing the bark. Any harder and he would have left a mark.

Her hands were still at his chest, pushing lightly against him to indicate she wasn’t interested in the rough attitude he was giving, but he obviously didn’t care because next thing she knew, there was a draft where her shorts once were. Her eyes opened as she looked at him, but he wasn’t looking. He was working and she could see that determination. In a moment, he spun her around and forced her against the tree. Her hands went out to brace herself but all they could do was grip the bark. “Gavin…” she muttered, a small amount of fear leaking through. She hated admitting she was afraid but she was beginning to go back to a year and a half ago. She didn’t want to be in that place but he wasn’t giving her anywhere else to go to. She could feel his lips against her shoulder and at the touch, her hands tried to push them away from the tree but she didn’t have the leverage she needed to do so. He had it all. He had control and she was afraid of what he was going to do with it.

X

As Gavin moved away from her, a few tears trickled down her cheek, her hands not losing their grip on the tree. He moved her shorts back in to place and with a kiss on her bare shoulder, moved to fix himself right again. She didn’t want to move. She wanted to stay against this tree. He was the second guy to not give her a choice in the matter and she hated it, but part of her also loved it. He had taken control and maybe that was what she had needed to know he was really in this relationship. He had shown her that she was being stupid in thinking he didn’t care, but did he have to be so forceful? Amina hated herself for even thinking she liked it, for even thinking that she wanted him back because the tears were the truth. They were the reality of the situation. Even as he turned her back around to face him and hugged her, a few tears still fell as her arms hanged loosely at her side. He wasn’t being aggressive or forceful. He was being gentle again, the Gavin she liked. Was he really going to be like this? An emotional rollercoaster? Would she have to be afraid for her well-being when around him? The though made her want to rip the chain from her neck, toss the ring in the bushes and run while he went looking. She imagined if she didn’t do it now, she never would. Tearing away from him would only happen now, after he had hurt her, literally. Waiting would only make it that much harder to remember the anger he had just displayed and talk herself out of liking him.

“As long as you wear that ring. I will remain faithful to the relationship that we cannot have.” Her eyes which had previously been blank, welled up with the emotions she never showed, the fear she hated to admit she had inside of her, looked at his as he pulled away. Allowing him to see that she was afraid was making her sick inside. She had spent the last year and a half telling herself she could not be afraid if she got into a situation like this again. For a year and a half it had worked, until she had been placed into the situation. There was so much more to thinking something than to actually experiencing it. And now that she had experienced it again, she knew it was a fear she would never get over because it wasn’t a fear. It was the feeling of losing control of her own life, that she could be hurt because she didn’t have the power. That wasn’t a fear. It was reality and reality sucked when it came to overcoming it. Her hands remained still at her sides, her eyes, still void of anything but the emotions she never had wanted him, anyone, to see in her, staring into his. “Cannot, or will not?” she asked blankly, the words hardly audible. The answer was obvious, but she couldn’t help but let the words slip out. Right now there was nothing in her head telling her what to say and what not to say. She felt like a broken toy but she was beginning to collect herself again. She licked her lips before running them against one another.

“I told you this couldn't happen, and it will not be easy. You will get hurt.” Amina shook her head slowly as her eyes waivered to the ground for a moment but they came back up in time to see the smile on his face. Her head cocked to one side slightly. It almost felt contagious. Like she could feel the smile creeping across her own lips but the shock hadn’t worn off enough for her to tell if it had or hadn’t. “You're only the second woman that I've ever kissed.” If the shock hadn’t worn off from their moment against the tree, it sure wasn’t going to wear off by adding more to it. But this shock was good. It had a better emotional response to it. The fear was gone from her eyes and instead, replaced with happiness. The blankness in her expression was replaced by the smile he had nearly infected her with. She brought her hand up to her cheek, brushing away the drying tears as her eyes looked down to the ring around her neck. “Well, I’d say that changes things,” she muttered, this time a little louder than her previous comment. Those dreadful emotions she hadn’t wanted him to see were going away. Looking back up at him, she allowed her hand to drop back down to her side, the last few tears that had been caught in her eyes falling down the cheek she had just cleared.

“Don’t you ever hurt me like that again or I will make you pay,” she muttered, the smile disappearing from her face as she narrowed her eyes at him, but it only lasted a moment before her arms were around his neck, her lips on his. She pulled away after a few seconds, placing her hands on his chest and her head against him. “You’re the first thing to have scared me in a year and a half and I don’t like that feeling. I don’t want to be afraid of you so please, don’t give me reason to be or I will have to take this ring off. And I don’t want to do that.”

[Gavin Dewhurst]

and i'm terrified,

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(FOR THE FIRST AND THE LAST TIME)
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[/i] His eyes averted guiltily to the forest floor, the pile of leaves she had thrown at him earlier by his feet. Making him feel even worse. With a small voice he loosened his grip on her, wanting to slink off, badly. “Cannot” It wasn't his personal choice, it was reality. It was his future. His arms removed themselves from her body, needing to space himself from her, he had told her that he wasn't going to hurt her, not in that way. Of course he hadn't meant it like that, never would he mean it, yet, perception was reality wasn't it? If that was how she had taken it...he cringed at the thought.

She tried to cover her fear, he had frightened her. She tried to smile, move on with conversation like nothing had happened...but he couldn't. Not with knowing what it was that he knew and how he could see that it had affected her. That had been the first time that he had ever really hugged a woman, and she hadn't even felt like she should wrap her arms around him. She was scared of him. Perhaps with good reason. “Well, I’d say that changes things,” Her hand moved to brush away her tears and he caught her wrist before she had a chance to lower it, his eyes examining the moisture there. “That changes things.” he stated bruskly, his tone professional as he could manage it. She shouldn't ever have a reason to cry whenever they were like this, there would be enough of that in the future. If they ever even made it that far. Letting her go, he stepped backward, picking up his sweatshirt and wand from where they had been positioned. He didn't bother drying them off or warming up his body. He just left the fabric balled in his hand and turned to look at her. He wouldn't allow himself to make her cry again. She seemed to think that nothing was wrong, like he was just going to overlook the fact that she had been crying, that the rims of her eyes were red from the effort not to keep doing so. “Don’t you ever hurt me like that again or I will make you pay,” And then that...it felt like the oxygen had been sucked out of his body. His jaw clenched and his grip on his sweatshirt tightened. He could feel the muscles in his arms rippling from the control he was exuding. Apprehension and tension were washing from him in waves. She didn't need to worry about that, he wouldn't. He was going to bow out, her words had sealed that for him. So much for the declarations that he had just made.

She moved to him again, her arms snaking around his neck, kissing him but it was sour. He couldn't do it, he couldn't give her this. Perhaps he had finally given her something that she could dwell on enough to hate him. She should do just that then. “You’re the first thing to have scared me in a year and a half and I don’t like that feeling. I don’t want to be afraid of you so please, don’t give me reason to be or I will have to take this ring off. And I don’t want to do that.” The way that she said thing made him feel dirty, like he was less human. It wasn't an emotion that he ever wished to feel again. Perhaps she had been right the first time she had taken it off, as much as it filled him with hate to think about it. The events that had transpired between them were bound to repeat themselves eventually. He couldn't be afraid of breaking her all the time. If only she could see what he was thinking at this moment. Setting his jaw, he did his very best to make himself look impassive, neutral even though he didn't seem to be able to inhale a single breath. Holding out his empty hand he waited, looking very physically pained by his actions. “I cannot promise you that I won't hurt you again. It's more likely that I will. You're right to be afraid. I will excuse myself from your life ma'am” He couldn't even look at her, he was looking over her head to the treetops, addressing her as formally as he could. He was almost speaking to her in the same tone that he would have used to address any other random person he cared nothing about. If only she knew, the feelings that she had brought about in him, most of them were brand new. Yet, he had broken one of the first things that he had ever promised her, he wasn't going to make her feel this way a second time.

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everybody has a dark side

[/size]
(COULD YOU LOVE ME? COULD YOU LOVE MINE?)[/center]

[/b][/color] 1,812
outfit: This
tags: Amina
song:Hoobastank - This is Gunna hurt
credit: gabs of a different color; @ caution 2.0[/ul][/size][/font][/left]

[Amina Krane]

“Cannot.” Whether it was what had just happened, or the time lapse from when they had first met, Amina wasn’t sure. But things were piecing together. It was almost like he had caused the fog to be lifted over her eyes. He wasn’t just playing down their relationship. He was being completely and utterly honest when he indicated that this could not be real, at least not real in the realm of other people. It was always going to be hidden unless something dramatic changed. She had thought he was always being dramatic but with the way he reacted with his ring coming off of her neck, the way she had slung it around, the way he had acted once it was back on… He was being completely and utterly serious with her. And she had merely taken it at face value. She felt terrible, not having believed him one hundred percent but how could she? In the world she came from, if you liked someone, you went after them. You didn’t sit on the sidelines and wait for your parents permission, or wait for society to say they understood that you came from two different parts of the political spectrum. You just went after that person you had an interest in. If it happened to go somewhere, you dealt with whatever came your way. That was how she was raised and that was how she viewed life. But seeing that anger in Gavin, his reaction to his ring, showed her that he was a different type of person than her all together. Familiy was the most important thing to him and he wasn’t going to let it dangle in the distance like she had let his ring.

Her tears weren’t making things better and she kenw that. I twas only causing her to be more emotional and try to overcompensate for it, and he wasn’t too fond of them either. When his hand grabbed her wrist, she let looked down at his hand, not with fear, but with sorrow. She didn’t want to be like this. She didn’t want to cry in front of him yet she didn’t know how to stop. “That changes things.” She looked back up at him with bewilderment in her eyes. Her tears shouldn’t change anything. At least she was hoping they wouldn’t. This is why she didn’t cry in front of people. They didn’t get to see her vulnerable because that always seemed to make things so much more complicated. They all read into her emotions far too much. It was easier if they didn’t exist at all. Happiness seemed to be the only thing that kept people from being able to read her, the only thing that made life simpler, not more complicated. But he didn’t like her happiness either. He constantly got onto her when she was too nice, too friendly, too happy. What was a girl to do in this situation? Normally, most of them would turn and walk away but she had determined from the day outside of the classroom that walking away was no longer an option. They were in too deep for that and right here, right now, they were in as deep as they could go.

As he moved, she wondered if he would walk away. He had grabbed his sweatshirt and wand and was now holding them like he was ready to leave any second. But that was not what she wanted in the slightest. They needed to work this out, they needed to come to an understanding about what had just happened. If he ran away, that would be the end of it. Going forward would be an impossible task for the two of them. She had hoped her words would come off lighthearted, not indicating that she was upset with him but merely that it was an exchange they could look back on and not worry about in the future. But it hadn’t come across that way. The moment the words left her mouth, she knew they had a different meaning to him. She wished she could take them back but it was impossible. Her tone hadn’t come across the way she wanted it to in her head. It had come across as serious, the exact thing she hadn’t wanted. She didn’t want to show that card. Not even the kiss she had given did a thing. Instead, he moved away from her. “Gavin…” She closed her eyes and shook her head, bringing her hands up to her eyes as she rubbed the palms of her hands deep into her sockets. It was a good thing she never wore make up for detention or running because the effects would have been disastrous at this point. “I didn’t… I didn’t mean it like that.” Her hands burrowed deeper as she tried to remove the images in her head, the one’s that had caused her to say he had hurt her. The one’s she never wanted to see again. The bloody sheets on the bed in the hotel room, him walking out the door, her left there stranded in a strange hotel feeling as vulnerable as ever. “When I said you hurt me, you didn’t. At least not really. I blame that on me not dealing with my past. A year and a half ago, I just pushed everything aside, acted like nothing had happened and thought I had dealt with it. Apparently I hadn’t.” But it didn’t matter. As she allowed her hands to fall at her sides again and she looked at him, his hand was outstretched in her direction. Her heart sank along with her hands. He wanted the ring back, and this time, no piece of her heart wanted to give it. For once, her body obeyed her instead of him.

“I cannot promise you that I won't hurt you again. It's more likely that I will. You're right to be afraid. I will excuse myself from your life ma'am.” She shook her head but this time, she didn’t close her eyes. Her hand started to go for the ring, to rip it off and hand it to him but instead, it went to his hand. She slapped it away and glared at him. “Don’t you dare call me ma’am.” Her words were short, crisp, and to the point. There was no emotion behind it because she didn’t know what emotion was there. It wasn’t anger, but it wasn’t the sorrow she had shown earlier. It wasn’t confusion either. It was just a fact. One of her hands went back to her neck, rubbing it slightly, as she turned around, paced two steps, then turned back to him. “It would be so simple just to say we’re done. But I don’t want to say that. We’ve both made mistakes and mine…” She swallowed what felt like a lump growing in her throat, a huge thing the size of a grapefruit, and crossed her arms across her chest, hugging herself in the process. “I made plenty. Not realizing this ring meant so much to you, also not realizing when you said this wasn’t going to be a relationship, you were telling the honest truth.” Her hands brushed against her arm as she looked down at the ground then back to him. She felt bad for not believing him, for not trusting that he was telling the truth about them not being reality. “Please, don’t take back this ring. Don’t take back everything that was said tonight. I don’t want this to become just another bad dream.”

[Gavin Dewhurst]

and i'm terrified,

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[/i] He recoiled as she said his name, he didn't want to hear it, didn't she understand that he had made up his mind and if she came much closer then his resolve would shatter. Nobody had ever effected him this way before, sure he had allowed himself to be swayed by the opinions of a few choice people. Generally only his family or Care, but with her, he didn't have a choice. “I didn’t… I didn’t mean it like that.” he shrugged his shoulders at her, like her words didn't mean anything to him, like she was insignificant. It was curious, how easily he was able to shut himself off from her, just like he had been trained to do. To avoid people like her for his life, this was easy...he would make it easy.

“When I said you hurt me, you didn’t. At least not really. I blame that on me not dealing with my past. A year and a half ago, I just pushed everything aside, acted like nothing had happened and thought I had dealt with it. Apparently I hadn’t.” His eyes closed, he didn't want to hear it, he didn't want to hear any of it. He didn't want to think about the horrible thing that had been done to her, or how he had made her feel in his passion. He couldn't always help himself, and with her looking the way that she did, only made it more difficult. The way that her clothing fit her like a second skin, that her hair was still damp and falling down her face from whenever he had moved with her, shaking her ponytail a little more loose, he could hardly contain himself as it was. He didn't need to hear this confession from her, it wasn't going to make him feel better. If she needed to say it, then fine but now wasn't the best time. She didn't need to explain herself to him on any level. She seemed to pick up on the fact that he was doing his very best to ignore her, so the slap to his hand was a shock. What did she think that he was doing. He allowed his hand to follow the trajectory that she had sent it on, staring at her incredulously until his arm lowered by his side. He couldn't tell if she was defying him, or following his orders. IN turn, he wasn't sure how he felt about her little outburst. Yes, earlier he had told her not to take it of, and now he was telling her to take it off. Perhaps subconsciously he was testing her, testing himself. “Don’t you dare call me ma’am.” He did know that he didn't like her tone, it almost made his hand itch to raise toward her, but he didn't move. “And what would you prefer me to call you, Miss Krane?” he matched her curt tone.

“It would be so simple just to say we’re done. But I don’t want to say that. We’ve both made mistakes and mine…” He wanted to replace her arms with his, wrapping around her body but he didn't allow himself, instead he focused on squeezing as much of the liquid from his sweatshirt out with one hand as possible. She couldn't just be speaking about this event in particular, it seemed like she was about to admit to something much larger. “I made plenty. Not realizing this ring meant so much to you, also not realizing when you said this wasn’t going to be a relationship, you were telling the honest truth.” Confusion fluttered across his face only to be squashed just as quickly. She didn't believe him? Everything that he had told her was a fact, he had been very honest with her, how could she not see that?it explained a lot, if she hadn't believed him until now...even if he couldn't understand why she didn't. Was she just that used to people lying to her? Of course, Gavin tended to bend the truth to fit his own purposes, he hadn't lied to her, not her. His eyes met hers, unsure of the emotion that was backing his gaze, but it was pointed, wanting to confirm that everything she had just said was the raw truth. “Please, don’t take back this ring. Don’t take back everything that was said tonight. I don’t want this to become just another bad dream.” He nodded once. “Fine” he couldn't think of anything else to say, but he allowed his sweatshirt to fall from his hand, leaving only his wand which he used to dry them both once more and then dropped it too. “Please understand that all I want to do right now is push you back up against that tree for your tone, for hitting me” his tone was sexist, and more than controlling but he didn't care. He didn't know how to 'treat' a woman on a long term basis but he did know what he expected out of a woman, even if Amina was never going to fit that mold. “You should have told me to stop if I hurt you. I would have” it was the truth, just like everything else that he had said thus far. He found that it was next to impossible to keep his hands off of her whenever they were standing this close to one another, even if he knew that keeping his distance was really for the best in this scenario. Crossing back to the rock from earlier, he took an uncomfortable seat a fair amount of space from her. “why didn't you believe me? Before...I've never said anything but the truth to you”
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everybody has a dark side

[/size]
(COULD YOU LOVE ME? COULD YOU LOVE MINE?)[/center]

[/b][/color] 1,128
outfit: This
tags: Amina
song:Lexington (Joey Pea-Pot with a monkey face) - Chiodos
credit: gabs of a different color; @ caution 2.0[/ul][/size][/font][/left]

[Amina Krane]

The nonchalant attitude he was giving her was painful at best. The feeling behind any of his motions was completely gone and seeing him in that way killed her. Amina never wanted him to lose that fire that he had. Ever since their first meeting on the castle grounds, he had that fire burning in him and somehow, it was almost like she had just blown it out with a few words. She was digging deep to find that kindling to recreate that flame, to bring it back to life, but she wasn’t sure how. As he merely shrugged at her comment, it made her sick. She wanted to hit him, just to enrage him enough to hit her back. To get something out of him that was more than that meaningless shrug would be enough. But somehow she felt like it wouldn’t do a thing. That punching him square in the jaw would not be enough to bring back that fire. It wasn’t a smoldering pile that just needed a push. Or was it? Her words had done nothing, but the moment she had slapped his hand away, there was something there. It was small, but something was coming back. It was just a subtle sign of emotion, but it disappeared as quickly as it had come. She bit down hard on the inside of her lip, hoping that wasn’t all she was going to get. She could keep hitting him, hoping that maybe he just needed a strong jump start to get him going, but that would just end up with him bruised and her feeling bad and that was not the direction she wanted this to go in.

“And what would you prefer me to call you, Miss Krane?” Grimacing at the sound of that, she shook her head and narrowed her eyes at him. She had thought calling her ma’am was terrible, and it most definitely was, but that was worse. Miss was never something she wanted to hear in front of her name until she was in her eighties, or widowed. Either option wasn’t going to happen anywhere near this conversation. Mrs. was a lot more welcomed in her mind but she was so far off from that happening as well. Not to mention, Mrs. Krane was her mother and that was all most people ever called her. If she was going to be called Mrs. Krane any time soon, she could imagine the confusion that would happen if her and her mother were ever in the same room. The thought made her shudder, getting confused with her mother. But Miss? No. Miss was just some sort of sympathy card they gave to the daughters of the Mrs. Those who did not get the special privileges of getting that extra set of letters. He hoped he wasn’t thinking this was all a joke, with him providing the same tone back in return. If he did, she was sorely mistaken about slapping his hand away. It wasn’t their first altercation that he seemed to be taking lightly, but she couldn’t imagine this one didn’t mean more to him. It sure meant a hell of a lot to her.

Something scratched the surface of his facial features again as she spoke, but it was just a glimmer once again before it was gone. Not understanding what he was thinking was killing Amina to the point where she wished she was a mind-reader. She hated the thought of intruding on someone’s thoughts without permission but this moment really deserved such treatment if he was going to remain so silent. If she could even just get a peak, just to know if he was still even interested in this conversation, interested in making them work somehow. Or had she completely stomped out that flame? She hoped not. She hoped there was still something burning in there. If the exterior was just a façade he was putting up to lure her into giving up, it wasn’t going to work. Even if he had scared her, brought her back to that wretched day a year and a half ago, she wasn’t going to give up. She felt for him the way she had rarely felt for anyone else and she wasn’t going to let this one day ruin all of that. “Fine.” Her eyes light up lightly at his agreement to leave the ring around her neck. His hand didn’t come back up to claim rights, it stayed at his side. The hope wasn’t much, but it was there. He was starting to come back to the conversation, to their forbidden relationship. She just hoped he would come back just as strong as before, if not more so.

“Please understand that all I want to do right now is push you back up against that tree for your tone, for hitting me.” The light in her eyes faded slightly as she nodded slowly. She knew he was angry, and she had caused a good portion of it. Admitting her fault in all of this was something she was fully willing to do, even though she knew he wouldn’t accept an apology. She would just internalize it until the day where he would accept such a thing from her. Before she responded, her hand went to his ring around her neck, her finger running over the emblem in the softest of ways. It meant a lot to him and she didn’t want to ruin it, but she wanted to get that comfort from it. The feeling that he had given this to her because of something more than lust. It would give her the power to get through this. “I understand,” she said, no hesitation in her voice. She knew he would get angry on occasion, and it wasn’t something she was ready to accept just yet, but if she could find a way to not go back to that place, that prior history shoved deep in the recesses of her mind, then she could handle it. Hell, maybe even enjoy it the way part of her wanted to. The way he had. But she had a lot of work to fix that problem, and it was work she hadn’t been willing to accept that day, nor any day since. Amina wasn’t sure if she ever would, but if she wanted to make them work as badly as she did, the day would have to come when she would work it all out.

“You should have told me to stop if I hurt you. I would have.” And it circled back to that. Hadn’t she already told him he didn’t hurt her? She had said not really hurt her, but she still thought it was rather clear what she meant. Apparently not. “You didn’t hurt me. Scare me, yes, but you didn’t hurt me. He did. I just… went back there,” she said, a shudder flowing through her as she tried to shut it down. The thoughts of those days so easily tried to boil back to the surface as they had moments before, but she was getting so good at shutting down those memories. The only thing that managed to scratch the surface of her thoughts was the flickering light of the candles he had put around the room. She shut it down so fast; like a gust of wind from an open window, the light was gone. She was back to just Amina and Gavin in the middle of a forest, and her attempting to prove her comment about Gavin hurting her hadn’t necessarily been about him, at least not entirely. “If you had hurt me, do you think I would be able to do this?” She smiled before tucking his ring back into her top. She sidestepped and went into a back cartwheel followed by a back aerial. When she landed, she pulled her top back to its proper position as she walked back to where she had just been standing, pulling the ring back into the exposed air with the care she now knew it deserved. “I would have told you if you had hurt me. Believe me. I’m not someone who enjoys pain even though I tend to cause it to myself often enough.”

As he moved back to the rock, she decided to bite the bullet and took a seat on the forest floor. It was like the scene from before, except in reverse. She pulled her knees into her chest and put her chin on top. “Why didn't you believe me? Before...I've never said anything but the truth to you.” Her eyes travelled from him down to the forest floor. She provided him the child’s answer to everything, a shrug. He didn’t deserve that, though. Gavin deserved much more than a shrug of her shoulders, but how could she respond to that without sounding paranoid? “I don’t know. I guess enough people have lied to me, taking my attitude for granted, that I just assumed it would be a lie,” she finally replied after a few moments of thinking. Her eyes floated around the wet leaves until reaching her shoes, a few leaves stuck to the top of it. “I feel bad that I didn’t believe you. I should have and I’m sorry I didn’t,” she added as she stopped tracing the line of the leaves on her shoe and allowed her eyes to go back to his. She offered another shrug. There was no good explanation why she hadn’t believed him. He had never given a reason for her not to. But with all of the rumors around school about his reputation, and prior history with people, she just put two and two together. Unfortunately, she had come out with five instead of four. “Forgive me? Even if it’s just this once.”

[Gavin Dewhurst]

and i'm terrified,

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[/i] She said that, but he didn't think that she really understood, that she understood the full weight of what he was implying. She didn't need to, not yet. But soon enough. “You didn’t hurt me. Scare me, yes, but you didn’t hurt me. He did. I just… went back there,” His jaw pulsed, hanging his head, his fingers running over one another, he didn't like the thought of her with anybody else, much less one that had hurt her in any way. It made him feel unstable. Murderous. She was so free with her thoughts, like they passed straight from her mind to her lips, he couldn't eve imagine the sort of trouble that he would get into if he was the same way. His family secrets alone...that would be horrible. “If you had hurt me, do you think I would be able to do this?” He watched her acrobatics with a smile. He had no idea that she could move like that, his face must have reflected his surprise. At least she had a passion, he was fairly certain that if he attempted to contort his body like that without the help of a broom in his hand, he would have snapped his neck. She had just sprung backwards like it was nothing, the thought of her bending that way...inspired him. In a totally perverted way. Sarcastically, he gave her a slow clap, but the smile on his face was genuine. He almost felt competitive, he had special skills too. If only he could fly without a broom, that would be perfect. “I would have told you if you had hurt me. Believe me. I’m not someone who enjoys pain even though I tend to cause it to myself often enough.” “We'll see” he left it ominous, uninterpretable.

“I don’t know. I guess enough people have lied to me, taking my attitude for granted, that I just assumed it would be a lie,” He nodded, that certainly was the truth. “You mean like those 'friends' that you keep” he made no attempt to hide the disgust he felt for her friends, the people that she surrounded herself with on a daily basis. He had watched her, watched them interact with her, not all of them were horrible, but for the most part they were all so damned fake. He couldn't tolerate them. He didn't. People gave Slytherin such a bad rep, but they were all very loyal to their friends. They were all from the same breeding and background. Slytherin was the good house, if only the others would finally realize that. There was a good reason as to why Slytherin dominated all of the competitive fields every year. “I feel bad that I didn’t believe you. I should have and I’m sorry I didn’t,” At least she had realized that she was mistaken, he shrugged, still not accepting her apology, he never would. No doubt she had just listened to all the rabble around the castle about him, rather than just asking him a question if she needed to know something. She was just about the only person outside of his house that he would have allowed to even ask, she wasn't taking advantage of that. Which, was both good and bad he supposed. “Forgive me? Even if it’s just this once.” His eyes were following her fingers as they trailed around her shoes. Shaking his head he brought one foot up onto the rock with him, wrapping his arms around it loosely. “No. But you can make it up to me” he smiled down at her. He was half expecting her to come to her senses and finally walk away from him, but she never moved.

He didn't know what to say to her, he didn't have any pressing questions, but he also didn't have anything else to pull him away from this moment. It was strange, talking to her like this without an agenda or being pressed for time. He didn't know what to say and a strange awkward feeling was coming over him, something that he certainly didn't like or approve of. The only thing that he wanted to do was push her back into the leaves like the insatiable animal that she made him feel like..but he controlled himself.
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everybody has a dark side

[/size]
(COULD YOU LOVE ME? COULD YOU LOVE MINE?)[/center]

[/b][/color] 1,138
outfit: This
tags: Amina
song:Lexington (Joey Pea-Pot with a monkey face) - Chiodos
credit: gabs of a different color; @ caution 2.0[/ul][/size][/font][/left]

[Amina Krane]

The rain was coming down heavier. Despite the fact that Gavin had just dried the two of them off with his wand, she could still feel the rain trying to soak through her nearly dry hair again. The only good thing was it was getting later into the day so the cold had disappeared. She wasn’t sure what time it was but she was pretty sure breakfast had finished being served not too long ago. The warm air that began to crawl through the forest gave some indication that the sun was higher in the clouds, warming up the rain as it fell onto them. Amina welcomed the warmth with open arms, so to speak. She still had her arms wrapped around her legs on the ground with her chin on top of her knees. But, if she had been standing, chances are she would have been twirling around, enjoying the warm drops as they hit her face. She only wished there was some way to keep her clothes dry so that Gavin didn’t have to keep drying them off. Or at least if she had her own wand, she could do it herself. But when she went running, a wand was the last thing she could fit with her. A tank top was not sufficient enough to hide such a long piece of wood and her shorts were even worse at doing such a thing. Only thing she could hope for was that no one would try to attack her on one of her runs. If so, she would be in serious trouble and no way to defend herself except to use whatever girl power she had behind those manicured nails of hers.

“We'll see.” Such simple words and absolutely no idea what he meant by them. Amina rolled her head to the side, still remaining with her chin on her knee as she raised an eyebrow. What did he mean by that? Did he think she would start to enjoy the pain? If so, he was severely wrong. She wasn’t a fan of pain. Since she began in her competitions, she had sprained her ankle twice, broken her wrist once, and fractured her finger. That last one had been the result of a very poor sawhorse dismount. Somehow, she had managed to push off while her pinky finger had been twisted wrong. The feeling of pain had come before the dismount but she had already been so far into it, there was no way to stop. So she had just gone for it. She won her competition by doing that and sucking up the pain as she stuck her landing, so it had been worth the weeks of taped up fingers, but she didn’t enjoy the pain even if the results were to her liking. “Uh huh…” she said mindlessly. Her gaze in his direction was one of question. It seemed like every time he opened his mouth, there was more questions that spurred. Once again, Amina wanted to know what he was thinking, to burrow inside his skull and dig out whatever the meaning had been behind those two words. But, alas, she was no mind reader.

“You mean like those 'friends' that you keep.” Her head turned upright on her knees as her brows furrowed together. “What’s wrong with my friends?” she asked. Her tone wasn’t defensive, just questioning. She hadn’t even been aware that Gavin knew she had friends, let alone knew enough about them to make assumptions. Granted, she had just stated people took her for granted, but she hadn’t necessarily implied her friends at Galaxia were the ones in reference. It could have been anyone, even if there were a few here she would have probably put up for the offering. “They’re not all bad. Some people just don’t understand where the line is,” she added with a shrug as she moved her head off of her knees and allowed them to relax slightly. Her arms still stayed wrapped around them but now she leaned forward a bit, stretching out her back. The only reason she had been wearing these clothes was to get in a run and once again, she had managed to get it interrupted. This was the second run that she had been in the middle of when he came into the situation. The only difference? This time she didn’t mind. They had found another way to get her cardio in for the day and she was pretty sure, by the time they left this forest, her heart beat would probably be right up to running standard once again. But that was just a guess.

“No. But you can make it up to me.” With a soft chuckle, she placed her cheek against her knees. Guessing was always a strong suit of hers in multiple choice questionnaires. Who knew she could use it to guess how a situation would end in the middle of a forest with a guy whose valuable ring hung around her neck? Certainly not her. Looking back over at him, she returned the smile he was giving her. “I’m sure I could find a way,” she replied, biting on the inside of her cheek as she imagined the ways. They all made her want to run to him as fast as possible but she didn’t want to rush it after the big blow up they just had. The last thing she needed to do was make one wrong move and ruin the patch work they had just completed. Deciding there was only one way to make sure the two were on good enough terms that she couldn’t ruin it, Amina moved her hands from around her knees and pushed herself into a standing position. She brushed off the leaves from her legs first, then up until she had brushed the last one from her back. “But, I want to know something first,” she finally said as she looked up at him. Merlin, even sitting on that rock he was so much taller than her. Why had he gone through such a growth spurt? He made her feel like a midget in comparison. The only good thing was she had moves she was sure he didn’t on the ground. At least there was one advantage. That was, until he would admit to her that he was some sort of closet cheerleader. Then all would be ruined. Internally, she crossed her fingers that he would never admit to such a thing.

As she walked over towards him, Amina wondered if he thought she was going to go back down Personal Drive, take another turn onto Family Lane, and keep on going until she got the answers she was dying to know about his personal life. It would be the most reasonable guess considering what they had been talking about before she had pulled the stunt with the ring, but she wasn’t going to go there. Not again. At least, not again today. Instead, she walked up to him, sat down off to the side of the rock and leaned back slightly, just so her back was lightly touching his shoulder. “Since you’re all into Quidditch, I’m assuming you love to fly. What’s it like up there?” Her eyes roamed up to the tree lines, following the small patches of sky that peaked through the barrier. Flying had never been something she did but it was something he did all the time from what she knew. And it helped make light of a conversation that had been so hostile only moments ago. She wanted them to be able to talk like this, even if it was just something so impersonal like flying on a broomstick. She didn’t care if it was something about him, something he loved, or just a generic question. Talking always made her feel better and if she was going to get him to talk, it would probably be about his favorite sport. “Ever get freaked out about the heights or about falling off or is it just the name of the game for you?”

[Gavin Dewhurst]

and i'm terrified,

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[/i] Though his mouth was smiling, his eyes were condescending. Like any one of those twerps that she considered her friend would do anything for her. He hardly knew her and yet he was willing to place money on the fact that he cared for her more than those little insects. His brow quirked, accusing her of saying something so ludicrous that it didn't even warrant a verbal response from him. He could have spent the rest of the morning and well into the afternoon listing their faults, in alphabetical order, by their physical descriptions alone. She seemed concerned that he had been watching her, she should have expected nothing less. Of course he was going to watch her, he had to see if there was something, any sort of salvageable about her reputation, her stature. But there had been none, yet, at least. He had done his homework, he hadn't pulled her into the closet lightly. Even if he was certain that she thought little more of their relationship than hushed voices and heated kisses. She hadn't even questioned him whenever she had learned just how many of the people that he had allowed to kiss him. Good. Perhaps she would leave this forest later, a little more wise, with her head on a little straighter. [i[]“They’re not all bad. Some people just don’t understand where the line is,”[/i] his lips pursed together, pressing into a line, taking the expression right out of his best friend's playbook. He differed with her on their opinions regarding her friends, how could they not? She refused to see anything but the good in people. He was loathe to know what she thought whenever she looked at him.

He didn't want her lines being crossed by anybody other than him, it was good that she left the statement open ended and didn't give him examples. Just as it was a bad idea to challenge Gavin in any matter, it was equally as foolish to let him know who it was that had crossed somebody that he had decided to give a damn about. Care could attest to that, on more than one occasion she had protested about somebody running their mouth at him. Not recently, but it had happened frequently, while she was still gaining her own reputation, branching off from her family's name. Of course, whenever Gavin had taken care of her problems for her, she had been upset for reasons that Gavin hadn't understood. Rambling on about wanting to fight her own battles, and that he had somehow cheated her out of a good round of fisticuffs. Since then, she had always told him about the things that bothered him, after the fact. He assumed that if he were to start taking care of Amina's problems for her, she might be grateful, but decidedly with less friends. Though, that would make his isolating her from the rest of the world idea a much more likely possibility. He wished that he knew Amina's unfiltered opinions on the whole matter. She wasn't really one to just offer up what it was that she was thinking, or feeling. He had a decent idea of what she was thinking most of the time, but he would like to know her opinions a little more often. The ones pertaining to him specifically. If he affected her the same way that she did to him, he would have very good reason to be proud of himself.

“I’m sure I could find a way,” Slowly, he nodded, the look in his eyes ravenous. He could sit here and devour her with his eyes all day. She was so charming the way she folded into herself, of course, he preferred whenever she was undulating. That was probably the most suggestive thing that she had said so far. He approved. “But, I want to know something first,” He sighed, but nodded. He should have expected more questions. He didn't move as she drew closer, hating himself for wishing that she would touch him, the internal battle waged on. He hated that he never wanted to let her go, that he wanted to wrap his arms around her and hold her close to his chest, her body heat, however muted by the rain comforted him. The very realization caused him physical duress. How was it possible? To allow another person's proximity to sooth him, to have any effect on his mental state at all. She was hazardous to his health, both mental and physical. Yet, like a drug he couldn't stop from being near her. Sure, he had managed to wait a week, that was just about the longest that he had ever been able to stay away from her since the moment that they had met. It seemed like the more he knew her, the more that he derived of her character only made him want to spent even less time apart from her. She was so unwaveringly kind. To everybody, regardless of the reason. Even after she had professed her fright of him, she had done so with a smile to follow the news. How anybody could have ever hurt her, he couldn't understand. He didn't understand a lot of the things that he felt whenever it came to her. He had no intentions of letting her go, marriage or not. Hiss selfish heart would allow him to force her to suffer, to pine for him. He really was a cruel man, perhaps he was just as bad as his reputation made him out to be. He couldn't ever offer her the things that a normal man could have. She deserved those things, he would just have to compensate. It seemed fairly clear that she wanted him to stay, that she wanted the abuse in her own sick way. Perhaps her baggage matched his. Only time would tell.

“Since you’re all into Quidditch, I’m assuming you love to fly. What’s it like up there?” He felt like his eyes might pop from the inside of his skull. Had she never been flying? She, who came from a pure blooded family and had been raised with almost all of the comforts that magical parents could have brought her, had never been on a broom? He had been flying since just before he had known how to walk. Of course, it had just been a starter broom, damn thing didn't hover more than a foot from the ground or go any faster than he could have crawled, but it had been enough to hook him. To cement that love of the magical sport into his brain and heart forever. It was the most important thing in his life. Instantly, the desire to summon his broom and whisk her into the air, to share that feeling with her overcame him but he was too stunned to move. He was having trouble even summoning the ability to speak he was so stunned. Not even a flying class? He hoped she was just asking his personal opinion of flying...since it wasn't for her? That was going to have to change. “That's not even a strong enough word” he finally sputtered. He hadn't been able to repeat the 'L' word that she had said, he doubted that he ever would in her presence. He had only ever said that word one other time in his life.

Ever get freaked out about the heights or about falling off or is it just the name of the game for you?” A small smile formed on his face, more for himself than for her. He was delighted that she was honoring his request earlier and discussing his hobbies with him. At least, for now it was a hobby. As of next year he hoped to make it a career. Shaking his head his smile widened. “Truthfully, I don't even realize the distance from the ground. I've fallen just about every way I can imagine and I can still walk...it's not longer a source of apprehension for me” It was the truth, he hadn't broken a bone pursuing his flight high in a very long time, whenever he was younger, for sure. He hadn't fallen in years, he had finally gotten to where he could always manage to stay on his broom, regardless of the circumstances. He had a team that he trusted, a broom that knew him just as well as he knew himself, the drive, and a sturdy pair of gloves. No, hurting himself was no longer an issue. Flying was his life, his passion, it consumed him. If he could, he would have spent all day, every day practicing drills. The eight hours daily that he already committed to the sport wasn't as much as he would have liked, in an ideal world. Unfortunately, he currently had a full course load to contend with. At least next year, he would have only the required courses, thus giving him all the time that he could desire for flying, practicing, and communicating with the Professional Scouts that he was ensured to have present at every one of his games next year. “Perhaps...one time I would be able to take you?” It was public, and that filled him with anxiety over the subject but he would very much like to fly with her, to share that passion with her. Before she could answer, he trudged on, not wanting to dwell on the subject or the fact that was just about the closest thing to a date that they would ever be able to have. “You've really never flown?”
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everybody has a dark side

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(COULD YOU LOVE ME? COULD YOU LOVE MINE?)[/center]

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tags: Amina
song:Lexington (Joey Pea-Pot with a monkey face) - Chiodos
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[Amina Krane]

The talk about her friends wasn’t going too well. She could see it on Gavin’s face. He didn’t approve of any of her friends. Some of them, she could imagine why. Others, she wasn’t entirely sure how he couldn’t like them. Victoria was a doll and had done nothing but be a great roommate since she had arrived. She was about the only female in the place that didn’t have guy drama following her wherever she went. It was nice not to have to hear about someone else’s guy troubles when she couldn’t even talk about her own. She felt terrible for keeping Gavin from Victoria, but she didn’t need to know and she wasn’t ready to share something that she wasn’t sure would even last. After today, she was sure it would but she was also sure Gavin would disown her if Amina even peeped about their being together. One friendship she was sure he was questioning was Gavin. She wondered if he had been there the day the two had gone to Somerset. Had he been in that group of Slytherin’s trying to get a table at the Café? She hadn’t seen him but, then again, that didn’t mean much. If he had been there, she was sure he had overheard some of their conversation. Wil could get highly competitive and definitely had a cocky attitude to him. It wasn’t a quality she particularly liked about him but once they got past it, he was sweet. But she didn’t bother to comment. He didn’t speak up about it so she was sure he didn’t think he needed to explain himself. She really didn’t want to get into a fight about her friends. It wasn’t worth it. Now, had he gotten into it about her friends from home, that would be a different story. Considering she had known some of them her entire life, she was a lot more sensitive to someone talking negatively about them. Maybe one day she would feel the same towards her friends here in Austria. Just not quite yet.

“That's not even a strong enough word.” Amina grinned as she scanned the trees again. She knew very well what he meant at that statement. People asked her previously how her love for gymnastics felt, but it’s impossible to explain how you feel about something when it’s part of you. It wasn’t like those people who did a sport just for the hell of it. She lived for the thrill of a back handspring that you never wanted to end, an uneven bar routine that takes you into another dimension, even the simplest thing of just a dance routine on the floor. Every moment she was in that leotard, wearing the colors of her country, covered in the chalk dust to keep her grip, was the best moments of her life. Just thinking about it made her itch to dip her hands into the deep pit of chalk and mount onto a balance beam. She couldn’t wait for her next tournament and just the thought was enough to remind her of how deeply she felt for the sport. Describing it was impossible and she wasn’t sure why she had thought he was able to, but either way, it struck up a conversation about something he enjoyed. To get him talking seemed to be something of a miracle with him and to have been able to do it so easily, she was actually quite proud of herself, but she took the pride in stride. There was no saying he would keep up the conversation. But she assumed, as long as she kept it on the subject, she might be able to get something out of him.

Her eyes roamed from the treetops to him where she saw a smile. It was genuine, the smile of his that she adored to see. The smile that kept her coming back for more. “Truthfully, I don't even realize the distance from the ground. I've fallen just about every way I can imagine and I can still walk...it's no longer a source of apprehension for me.” Amina raised her eyebrows in shock and wonder. How could he fall and not feel something against flying? Heights were not her thing, even though she had conquered that fear a while back, so she would probably be against flying if she fell off of it. But, then again, how many times had she misplaced her hand on an uneven bar and gone down on an elbow, or miss-stepped on a balance beam and slid right off the side? So many times she had walked away from those apparatus’ with bruises, sprains, and breaks, and yet, she came back for more. Sometimes she even got back on before cleared by a medical examiner. The healers always urged her to keep off of her injury at least for an hour to keep it from getting irritated but she had never listened. An hour was too long when she was so into getting the routine right. To stop just because of a fall meant giving up, meant giving in to the apprehension and soon to follow that would be the fear to get back on. If there was one thing she hated, it was when fear tried to ruin something for her. So despite what her parents may have said, despite what the healers urged, she always got back on. She couldn’t imagine Gavin being much different.

“Sounds about right,” she replied with a grin as she looked down at her hands. Her palms had been rubbing together absently as if she was wiping excess chalk off of them. Once she noticed, she placed them down onto her legs to keep it from happening again. Damn the urge. She needed to find a place in the school where she could train. It was nearly impossible to get training time in while school was in session because of all of the rules and regulations in place. If she didn’t train enough, her routine was not going to be ready for the summer season. But that didn’t matter. That wasn’t the point right now. “Perhaps...one time I would be able to take you?” If someone had been looking at her that moment, she was sure someone had just told her someone had killed her parents, or burned their home in the Keys. Her eyes were wide with shock and it made her happy that she wasn’t looking at him. Did he just say he wanted to be in public with her? That had to be it. Flying with her, meant not being in a classroom, or supply closet. Not even in a covered forest. It required open skies. Granted, if they were high enough, no one would notice but… An uneasy feeling settled in her stomach at the thought of height. Despite getting over the fear, she still couldn’t help but feel nervous about it. She would still do it if they did happen to get together on a broom together but, that was a big if. She couldn’t imagine him honoring that after all the talk they had about their relationship being forbidden. Before she could comment on it, though, he had already changed subjects.

“You've really never flown?” The change of subject allowed the shock to be erased from her face as she looked back over at him, turning to the side a bit more. “Not on a broom. Never really had the chance,” she said with a shrug, her hands going down to support herself on the rock. “Now if you count flying off of the uneven bars, about fifteen feet into the air, then yes.” She chuckled at the thought and shook her head. It didn’t even compare to the flying he did, but it was her own adrenaline rush; her own addiction. “We lived in a muggle neighborhood my whole life so it wasn’t like we could do it in the backyard. And just never had the inspiration to do so. Always had other things on my mind, I guess.” She imagined he wouldn’t enjoy the muggle neighborhood part of her story, but it was how they lived. Her dad worked as a contractor for muggles and had made big money doing so. It made more sense for them to live in a muggle neighborhood than a magical one. Plus the cost of living was so much less, which gave them more money for spoils when she was a kid. Her family wasn’t against muggles, and some of the best friends she had in life were muggles. None of them knew her secret which made things difficult, but they always seemed to have a much better outlook on life. They didn’t have to deal with the Dark Lord, or worry about the Ministry on their tail for using magic the wrong way. None of that mattered. They just got to live life and have petty drama that she could handle so much easier than magical drama. She didn’t regret one moment of her life living in that neighborhood.

“You’re keeper on the team right?” The titles didn’t mean much to her but once she had found out he had a passion for it, she had tried to get to know a little more about the sport. At least enough so she would be prepared when a day like today showed up. “I would know more about the school teams if I paid better attention at the games but I’m pretty sure that if I were to watch closer, I would root for you and there might be a smidge of a problem rooting for the opposing team.” The thought of her fellow Gryffindor’s standing next to her at a game as she shouted GO GAVIN made her nearly laugh but she shook her head instead. Nearly all of them would be furious with her and wouldn’t speak to her for some time if that happened. She didn’t like the prospect of being isolated. “Might draw just a bit of attention.”