fight so dirty// closed noah&kay

[Kaydence Morgan]

The sooner she could get to a state of calm the easier things would be. Right now, all Kaydence wanted to do was cry. Not because she was scared but because she was so frustrated. Frustrated with not being able to be prepared for this. Irritated that Noah had just left her, knowing damn well what she was going to be going through. Infuriated that it was Ashton who was left to take care of her and who wasn’t doing anything to help the situation right now. All she needed was silence. Needed to focus on the music playing and hopefully find some sort of connection to it so she could peak. If, and when, that happened, she then had to get the hell out of here and back home. Didn’t need to be around Ashton when she started feeling the way she did. That closure they had apparently given themselves would be nonexistent. The feelings that had consumed her after she left him the last time told her otherwise. Briefly Kaydence wondered how he would reciprocate, if he did. He was furious with her. He had been since they first noticed each other upon her and Noah’s arrival. The last thing she needed was to humiliate herself further by showing him care and affection when he was only going to push her off. Yet…he had given her those looks at dinner. Those could have been something right? Could have also just been the whiskey talking. How many glasses had he had? Merlin things were so fucked up. Her high off of his ass and him, well, she had no idea his current condition but he tended to get angrier the more he drank. Not to mention handsy. That would be an interesting dynamic if things got that far.

Hugging the pillow as tightly as she could, Kaydence let the next roll completely take over. For the time being, she was getting what she asked for. Quiet. She could hear him moving off to the side but she had no idea how far away Ashton was. What was he doing anyway? Maybe gathering his things to leave. That would be for the best. The thought of him leaving though, as badly as she knew they needed it, was saddening. This time he would be the one to leave. Would he even say goodbye? Or just give the peace she yelled at him for and leave her on her own? She shook her head, pushing the pillow further down on her. Even when she peaked, she wasn’t going to be able to go home right away as much as she wanted to. Couldn’t risk the chance of Lukas being awake and seeing her like this. If Mikkhal was home he could provide some defense, but if he wasn’t? Kaydence was so miserable she very close to wishing Darren would magically appear and obliterate her into oblivion. Had to be a better fate then what she was dealing with now. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. Focus on the breathing. Ignore everything else. The sounds at the table. The footsteps getting closer. The darkness that suddenly washed over. More anxiety. This darkness felt heavy though. Pulling the pillow away from her, she was confused to see something covering her eyes but sheer enough for some light to come through. He had really lost it. Ashton was going to suffocate her. Kaydence wanted to fight, but she couldn’t. Didn’t have the energy or the stamina right now. She felt something against her leg. Something cold. Merlin it felt amazing. The warmth radiating throughout her body was certainly due to the increase in body temperature. Allowing her hand to leave the pillow, she found whatever it was and grasped her hand around it. Bringing it to the pillow, shimmied her head out enough to look. Water. Ashton had brought her water.

Avoiding his gaze, she took a long sip, almost half the glass. Holding it out for him to take, Kaydence propped up her chin, eyes now completely exposed to the man once again kneeling extremely close to her. The look on his face startled her. She knew that look. That I’m-so-angry-I’m-trying-not-to-slam-you-up-against-a-wall look. How could he be upset with her over this? She’d hadn’t been lying to him! None of this was her fault. He had to know she would never want to deliberately embarrass herself like this in front of him. Even if she had known he was coming she would have opted to go the alcohol route instead, like she was trying to before the pill had kicked in. ”Noah did this to you – without your permission?” Kaydence’s eyes widened. Well when he put it like that he made it sound even more awful. Pulling his coat closer to her, the fabric smelling like his cologne couldn’t do anything to ease her discomfort. She looked at him, slowly nodded and wanted to melt into the couch. “I didn’t take anything Ashton,” she said softly. “He probably did it because he knows I’ve been stressed out. Probably thought I hadn’t been acting like myself and wanted to help take the edge off. I can assume he was planning on the three of us each taking one and having a night out. That’s his style.” She quickly regretted the last comments. “I mean, wanting us to have a good time. Not expecting this.” Kaydence wasn’t quite sure why she was defending him. The fact was Noah had drugged her regardless without telling her. Her stomach suddenly felt very heavy. Didn’t want to listen to Ashton go on a tangent. Sighing, she pulled his coat over her head again and continued wishing she could disappear.

[Ashton Wentworth]

]

At least she took the fucking water. That would help at least. Had plenty more of it at the table, she would need to drink a good deal in order to feel a little bit better. Head slowly coming out of the jacket hood that he had made for her and at least accepting the damned thing. Good. Drank the water. Would get her more - that much he was willing to do. Wasn’t her fault she was like this at least. Shouldn’t have made him feel better about her actions - but it did. Also made him dislike Noah a hell of a fucking lot right now. Ashton was waiting for her answer - whether it took her the entire glass of water to say it or not - he needed to make fucking certain that he had understood what she was saying, correctly. He needed to be certain that this wasn’t her choice. The nod was all that he needed. Yes. Had given it to her. She hadn’t wanted it. She hadn’t asked for it. He had fucking drugged her. He was - going to fucking ruin him.

Given how many years it had been - Ashton shouldn’t have felt that strongly. He shouldn’t have felt as protective over this infuriating woman but he did. He shouldn’t have cared what happened to her - or what they did to her because they weren’t together anymore. They weren’t a thing - but he did. He could feel that pulsing in his chest - he wanted to rip him apart with his bare fucking hands and it was only partially because of his temper. Only a little bit - and the rest - reasons that he didn’t want to give name to. . “I didn’t take anything Ashton,” Was a good thing that his hands were empty right now. “He probably did it because he knows I’ve been stressed out. Probably thought I hadn’t been acting like myself and wanted to help take the edge off. I can assume he was planning on the three of us each taking one and having a night out. That’s his style.” He had been going out with Noah for a good while now - he had witnessed him doing a handful of various substances during that time. He hadn’t ever been offered so much as a bump. Had just thought that it was because of either who Ashton was, their business relationship - or just because it was abundantly clear that he preferred his liquor over anything else. Liquor that was sitting there on the table, practically screaming out his name. “I mean, wanting us to have a good time. Not expecting this.” Ashton - didn’t know what to think about that. Defending him in the way that she was. Didn't sit right with him. Had far too many questions that shouldn’t at all have been something that he was worried about. Shouldn’t think about it. Shouldn’t have worried about her. Shouldn’t care what the details of their relationship were. “Drink the water Kaydence.” Ashton rose to his feet and started toward the table again. Moving for his Whiskey - for his cigarettes. Needed them - needed, something - anything to occupy his hands. Needed to have something to do with his body that wasn’t focusing on that. “Does he do this shit often?”

[Kaydence Morgan]

As her body sunk into the couch, Kaydence felt a breeze from Ashton’s retreating body as he left the space. Shouldn’t have said anything. Should have just played dumb or admitted that she had taken the pill because Noah had promised her a night out. It would have made things so much easier. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t find it in herself to lie to him. The older she got, the more she was tired of lying. That’s all she ever fucking did now. Lie to her fiancée about who she was. Lie to her son about the real reason he wasn’t allowed out without supervision. Merlin, the only person she really hadn’t lied to so far had been Ashton. A funny thought in itself. She may have danced around the truth but since the moment they were in that alley, nothing but the truth. What a strange realization. Kaydence figured the reasoning was simply because she owed it to him. She had just upped and left after all. Kept him in the dark for years and years and was never able to be at peace with herself because of it. Surely, that had to be the reason why. Couldn’t have had anything to deal with those annoying lingering feelings that had been rearing their ugly head at her in the weeks that had passed. She should have never gone to the Boardwalk that day. She should have demanded the wedding planner meet her at the condo and they could have planned things over a nice brunch the house-elves had prepared for them. But even then, would that have mattered? Her and Ashton had both found themselves here tonight. Ashton had been working with Noah on something. A thought she didn’t even want to begin to fathom until tomorrow when her senses were back.

Hearing him shuffle back at the table, Kaydence removed the coat once again from her face. The sounds he was making matched that surly look on his face earlier. He was furious though she was having difficulty figuring out if it was at her, or Noah. Pushing herself up from the couch, she was starting to feel a bit better. Not much but the point, as dangerous as it was, that she needed to get to was fast approaching. Leaning to the small accent table, she grabbed the glass of water Ashton had given to her and sat back into the couch. She watched him quietly as he moved hastily around, unable to find something he was looking for. She took another sip from the glass, the ice feeling fucking amazing going down her throat. Her eyes closed again, this time not out of anxiety but out of pleasure. How she could use a dip in a cold ice bath. Would greatly help with regulating her body temperature. Though at this point she didn’t know if it was from the drug, Ashton’s moodiness or a mixture of both.

”Does he do this shit often?” She watched curiously as he stopped for a minute, gripping the edges of the table before fighting whatever demon he was dealing with. Shortly after, Ashton reached forward and grabbed his glass of whiskey from early and downed its contents in one very aggressive slip before slamming it back on the table and reaching for the bottle sitting in the table. Kaydence didn’t know how to respond. If she even wanted to respond. He had never drugged her with ecstasy without her knowing. Now that he asked though, there were flickers of memories from times past she had been very upset with him, or hyperventilating, he had brought her a drink and she felt better fairly quickly afterwards. Had those been times he was talking about? Biting down on her lower lip, she moved Ashton’s jacket around her shoulders and pulled it closely to her. Now she was able to focus on the cologne she couldn’t earlier. He had picked a good one. She usually had a nose for namebrand but couldn’t quite place this one. Regardless, it smelled amazing and she was suddenly interested in knowing if he still smelled that way. Feeling his gaze, Kaydence looked at him and shrugged her shoulders. He wasn’t going to like her answer but she honestly didn’t know. “I’m not sure,” she said quietly. Should have been upset but was beginning to feel more concern for Ashton’s wellbeing at this point.

[Ashton Wentworth]

Were this a cheaper bottle - it would have cracked under the pressure that he put on the neck of the damned thing when she answered. “I’m not sure,” Like lava. Like white hot coals in his chest - could feel his hands shaking with the effort of keeping it in his system. Shaking as he dumped the rest of that bottle into the taller, empty water glass that used to have been Noah’s before he finished it off - or at least trying to before his control slipped and he brought the thing right up to his lips and was nearly chugging. All of that overly expensive booze down the hatch - he couldn’t stop hearing it. Her voice sounded so fucking small. She didn’t know? How could she not fucking know? How could she not understand that wasn’t alright? Yet she had looked him in the fucking eye and said that it was worth it. That it was better - that she was glad that she had fucking left. To what? Be with some fucking prick who fucking drugged her? In what world. Snapped - physically, that bottle whipping out of his hand and to that far wall plenty away from Kaydence. Thick glass shattering from the force of impact and Ashton couldn’t stop himself. “You know - I wanted to like that fucking prick.” He laughed bitterly. “I really fucking did - I fucking tried.” He shook his head “But you take...all that fucking vanity.” Ashton’s hands lifting, mimicking like he was taking a ball and squeezing it. Pausing only to light his cigarette - and paused after he was done. Looking at that gold lighter he had picked up out of reflex - and fucking threw that too. Landing softly on the carpet somewhere in the room. “ALL THAT FUCKING EGO!” Wasn’t even speaking directly to her anymore - words failing “Think you can just-” Inhaling too deeply - couldn’t stop the way his hands were trembling “Making it okay to-” Clipped as he was seething. Wanted to hit something. Anything. Had thought that Noah was one way - he really had. Liked getting along with him, had actually been having a moral fucking delimma over the closing of this case, but no - he was just a scum. Just like all of the rest of them. “Did he put hands on you?” Ashton held up his hand - not wanting an answer. It wasn’t like he was a saint. It wasn’t like he hadn’t done some seriously shitty things in the course of his life - but it was one thing to know that he had done it in the past, and another for some reason to know that it was happening to her now, in his present.

Drug his bottom lip inward between his teeth - that Whiskey was finally starting to warm his insides - or perhaps it was just the temper. Shouldn’t have been yelling at her. Really, he shouldn’t have. “THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH NOAH FUCKING EKLUND KAYDENCE!” His hands lifted in exasperation. “EMMELINE?! WHAT THE WHOLE, ACTUAL FUCK!” In his heated movements - Ashton’s hand caught the edge of the closest chair - sending it spinning off kilter to the side of the room. Couldn’t bring himself to care if this room got damaged, for the price that he was paying - it really didn’t matter. Ashton dipped into his jacket front pocket and pulled out the coin pouch he had been passed and tossed it on the ground. “SHOW HER A GOOD FUCKING TIME ASHTON!” He spun in a half circle. Like Kaydence was just something to be bought and sold. “Take his dirty fucking money.”

[Kaydence Morgan]

Kaydence knew was what coming. She knew Ashton’s body language. It was unlikely that in the time that had passed that everything had changed about him. Despite this being the most amount of time she could remember him keeping himself together as best he could, with the way he had been pouring back that whiskey all night it would only take a matter of time before he was triggered. She watched intently, pulling his jacket that much tighter around her body. She probably should have taken this moment to leave. The way he was slamming shit around and finishing whatever brown liquor was left. Literally every single red flag being thrown in her fucking face but she couldn’t move. Even if she tried, Kaydence wasn’t sure Ashton would let her at this point. She was sure there would be some snide remark or close the distance between herself and the door, put his hands on her. As tempting as the last option was, not the way this one needed to be handled. Absolutely needed to keep as much space between the two as possible. She pulled her arm out of the coat long enough to take another drink from her water glass, peering over the top of the glass as Ashton picked up the bottle of Macallan around the neck. Her eyes widened. Seconds later, he reared back and threw it at the wall. Should have been frightened at this point. She had begun to peak, so the anxiety was still very much there, but the only movement she made was to place her water glass back on the tap and curl up under his jacket, which surprisingly managed to cover her completely.

”You know – I wanted to like that fucking prick.” She wasn’t sure if he was talking to her or not at this point but before she could even attempt to answer he continued. ”I really fucking did – I fucking tried.” Kaydence wanted to question how long the two had known each other. It shouldn’t have been very long but Ashton was nowhere close to being finished. He stopped long enough to light his cigarette, but after one glance of the lighter Noah had given him, he chucked that too. ”ALL THAT FUCKING EGO!” He wasn’t wrong about that one. He was talking to the air now. Hands waving around crazy, ashes floating all over the place from the sudden movements. No doubt he was going to have to pay a pretty penny for the extent of the damage. Wasn’t about to call him out on that though. It would only result in him probably throwing some more shit around the room to prove a point. ”Did he put his hands on you?” That was one thing Kaydence could vehemently deny. They had plenty of verbal altercations in the past but never one to have gotten serious enough for him to use force, completely unlike Ashton. If anything, there had been a few instances in which she had tried to hit him and he grabbed her wrists with as little of force as possible to prevent her from inflicting damage. Noah had still gotten clocked on one or two occasions though. It was really funny though, hearing him ask that. Like the pot calling the kettle black. She couldn’t remember all the times he had aggressively put his hands on her. Apparently, he had forgotten that little tidbit. Of course, Ashton always came back later to apologize, but how did that justify his impulses over and over again. Biting down on her lip, Kaydence rested her head on her knees. Too much stress. All she wanted to go was go dance.

Her body began sway back and forth to an invisible beat. She was really starting to get restless. ”THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH NOAH EKLUND KAYDENCE?” Kaydence looked back in his direction, he was staring at her again. Her brow arched. The way he said it, like she should have known. But what should she have known? ”EMMELINE! WHAT THE WHOLE, ACTUAL FUCK!” Again, giving her no chance to respond before tossing a chair into a wall. Sighing, she couldn’t help but to roll her eyes. Didn’t want to, he was just being such a drag at this point. He did have every right to be angry. She wouldn’t take that away from him. Observant though, Ashton only got this way when he was really, truly upset about something. For somebody who had agreed to closure, the behavior was extremely unbecoming to those without a psychotic bone in their body. To her, it was beginning to seriously make her question how sure he had been with himself when he left her with that kiss a few weeks ago. Maybe, just maybe he hadn’t been ready to let go as well? ”SHOW HER A GOOD FUCKING TIME ASHTON! Take his dirty fucking money.” Straightening herself up as best as she could, Kaydence began to rub at the sides of her legs, enjoying the cool sequins of her dress on her skin. She was beginning to get too warm. Sliding his jacket off of her, she finally made movement to stand up. This time, with much more success then the previous times. Closing her eyes, she lifted her arms above her head in a stretch before moving them down her neck. It felt good to get her blood moving again. Started bringing her limbs back to life. Unable to keep from fidgeting, she slowly began to pace back and forth in front of the couch. Absolutely had to stay away from him.

Kaydence really didn’t know what to say at this point. Anything in reference to Noah was only going to be met with more anger. Actually, everything at this point was going to be met with anger so she needed to attempt to choose her words carefully. She needed to keep the situation as defused as she could to prevent him from walking over to her. Rubbing her hands together, she continued to pace. “I should ask you the same thing,” she started, finally breaking the silence while continuing to walk. “What are YOU doing with HIM?” She didn’t dare tell him she didn’t completely know about all of his business dealings. Always figured he worked with some heavy shit but didn’t want to give Ashton anymore ammunition to go off the deep end. “Does he know you work for the Ministry still? Not sure why he would get involved with you. Knows better than to put us at more risk like that.” Her tone remained calm, almost inquisitive. Kaydence was responding to him, but also vocalizing all the thoughts going on in her head. “How long have you two been working together? How did you two even meet?” Still pacing, she brought her hands to her shoulders and began to rub at them. Merlin was she feeling good. Really needed to try and hatch a plan to get out of here. Had to go find a place to let all of this extra energy out. All of her old local haunts had to have been here still. Just needed to figure out which one she could get away to with disappearing the most in. It was a weekend night so everything would be packed. She could easily be just another stranger in the crowd. Looking down at her dress, she frowned. She could at least attempt to change the color to a dark one so she could blend in more. Maybe not. At the sight of it, she realized how much it was beginning to feel like it was weighing her down. There was so much fabric on the bottom that as she walked it felt like she was having to workout. The gym. That would also be good place to go. Though, Kaydence really probably didn’t have enough focus for that. She really just wanted to go dance.

[Ashton Wentworth]

Of course her head surfaced at the mention of money. Of course it did - picking up in that way and attempting to pay attention right when he threw the money bag at her. Of course. Fucking pathetic. He should have known better than to just - and he dropped that mental line of thought just as quickly as it had started. So many things swimming around inside of his head that he couldn’t pick out a single one to focus on. Just - anger. The liquor that was slowly starting to affect him wasn’t helping anything either. Could hardly even see her from the corner of his eyes. She was nothing more than a silver sparkle from time to time in his ranting until she stood. All sparkles and only partially obstructed by his jacket that she was wearing. Wasn’t sure why it was that she as pacing - no doubt she wasn’t even aware of it, wanting something to do with herself. She had never seemed to have an issue with his bouts of temper before until it was aimed at her. Granted - he was never proud of the way that things had been handled in the past when it did come to him and his temper. He wanted to think that the years had mellowed him out somewhat in that department - but then again, he wasn’t really the best judge on it either. Tended to favor his own side over reality on that one.

“I should ask you the same thing,” Ask him what same thing? What he was doing with Eklund? She followed that train of thinking apparently, blurting out the exact same questions moments later. Did she even really care? Did it matter what it was that Eklund was off and doing with his time so long as it didn’t apply to her? Was she only bothered about the events of tonight and the shady things that the pair of them were involved with - because she happened to know Ashton - or was this actually all about Noah and she was worried that Ashton might do something to him. If it was the latter - he was going to have a much bigger issue. “Does he know you work for the Ministry still?” Ashton’s brows lifted - she couldn’t possibly know that. Not even in the slightest. She was pulling at strings - gathering shit out of her ass. That was the only explanation. ”Not sure why he would get involved with you. Knows better than to put us at more risk like that.” She really didn’t have any idea what was going on. Ashton’s face settled from shock to smugness as she continued. She knew nothing. Didn’t have any idea what he had been up to - all of those questions that she had asked in the alley were making a lot more sense. She hadn’t looked up on him - hadn’t checked in - while it shouldn’t have hurt. It did. He hadn’t told her anything because he had assumed that she knew, and he hadn’t wanted to lie to her. Most of all not to her face, but she was about to leave him with absolutely no fucking choice. It was enough to contemplate that he had to stop dead - staring at her and that strangely level tone. Must have been the drugs. No way would she have been asking a question like that without throwing something at him while doing it. “How long have you two been working together? How did you two even meet?” All things that he couldn’t answer. Couldn’t tell her how it was they had been working together. Had been a good long while - through letters and he hadn’t been an easy man to find in the first place. Ashton had worked rather tirelessly to have gotten in contact with him in the first place -bullshit that Kaydence could just bat her eyes at him in some fucking club and accomplish the same fucking thing.

Ashton didn’t want to lie to her - so he said nothing. It kept coming down to either silence, or a lie so he chose silence. Had nothing else to say to her - nothing to discuss and thankfully, she seemed to be occupied enough by rubbing at her shoulders that she didn’t seem to care that he hadn’t actually said anything in response. She was intoxicated enough that perhaps she wouldn’t notice whatsoever that he hadn’t said anything. Given what all she was on it was a very real possibility that he could splash water on her and her be suitably distracted. He - hadn’t ever had her not yell back before. It had to be the drugs. There was no other possible explanation - couldn’t possibly be. Didn’t want to attempt to touch the subject of what she could have possibly seen in that fool - because it would do nothing but to temper his ego and hurt his feelings all at the same time. Still came back to that same burning question - how long had they been together in the first place. Something that no way could he have answered because if he did find out - no matter what the explanation was, he wouldn’t be able to handle it. “You’re not even on this fucking planet.” Ashton’s free hand scrubbed down his face - frustrated noise leaving his lips. “I don’t wanna fucking babysit you.” Even saying it it felt like an excuse. How long was he obligated to be here? She could take care of herself. There were still more rounds of food coming, but he wasn’t at all interested in eating. Could have done what Noah said and took her dancing - but he didn’t want to do it on principal. Needed to get her home - and leave her there. Didn’t trust himself anywhere near her.

[Kaydence Morgan]

In the midst of her pacing, Kaydence hadn’t realized Ashton had stopped throwing shit around the room and yelling. What she did realize, however, was that she was really beginning to feel a lot happier. Absolutely the drugs working their magic. The fact that it was silent, with the exception of her talking to herself, was helping. The music seemed a little louder now. The soft jazz wasn’t her style at all, but it was nice to listen to for the time being. The itch to leave was intensifying. Really needed to go and make use of all the extra energy coursing through her veins. It would be best to dip sooner rather than later. Kaydence was going to be peaking for the next few hours. She supposed that if push came to shove, she could sit here. Force herself to vibe with the soft music. Stare at the wall and relish in the rare happiness she was feeling. Allow herself to get lost in the numerous thoughts fighting with each other to get her sole focus. Those options would be the smart things to do. Smart, but absolutely no fun. Would be pointless having the drug in her system and not allowing herself to be a little carefree for a while. She didn’t really wish to think about the risk associated with her own night out on the town. It would be worth it to feel normal for a change, wouldn’t it? Kaydence couldn’t deny how amazing it had been out in Ilfracombe before Ashton had found his way into the picture. At the thought of him, she turned her gaze to him, finally noticing how he had stopped and was staring at her.

”You’re not even on this fucking planet.” She chuckled at him, stopping to push a strand of hair behind her ear. “No,” Kaydence said, very matter-of-factly as she pointed at him. “Very much on this planet Ashton. I’m just choosing to focus all my negative energy into the intended use of that magic little pill that found its way into my system. It’s either that, or subject myself to the same inner turmoil you’re facing and I’ve already done that enough for the past few weeks SO I’m just going to say fuck it. You should try to do the same.” She rubbed at her shoulders again. “I can’t do anything to change what happened. What’s done is done.” Such a carefree way to respond. No doubt Ashton wouldn’t like that. The whiskey wouldn’t let her slide that easy. Walking over to the table, she was careful to keep as much distance between herself and Ashton as she could. Stopping once she had reached it, Kaydence leaned over to grab her wine glass. It was still half-full. The nausea had settled so she figured she could indulge in the rest before making her departure. Bringing the glass, she took a long sip as he made movement to speak again. ”I don’t want to fucking babysit you.” Resting the bowl on her bottom lip, she narrowed her eyes in thought. Judging by the money bag Ashton had thrown at her, Noah had tried to bribe him. Putting that and the comment he had also made about finding Ashton a girlfriend, she could safely assume he had told him to keep an eye on her. How funny. Noah had probably only met him not too long ago and was so willing to just ask him to look out for her. Kaydence really didn’t know how she felt about that. Her fiancé had always been so protective over her. Had something changed where he was willing to let a strange man entertain her while he was away?

The thought was remarkably irritating. Downright infuriating. Noah surely wouldn’t have allowed Ashton to whisk her away if he had known she had been his in a former life. Old behaviors were threatening to creep in. As much as she enjoyed looking like a trophy, she didn’t enjoy being treated like a possession. Noah wanted her to have fun? Sure, she would have fun. The more she kept looking at Ashton, the more the desire to stay with him kept coming to the forefront of her brain. He didn’t want to babysit her? She didn’t want him to. Might have needed him a couple of minutes ago when she was coming up but she was perfectly capable of taking care of herself at this point. And him if the brown devil had weaseled its way completely into his bloodstream by now. She briefly thought back to the night she had been called to pick him up at Tripp. That was probably the most happy-go-lucky she had even seen him. He had been annoying, only because she hadn’t had an ounce of alcohol in her system unlike him, but perhaps if she had felt similar they could have had a fun night out. They could always try that now. Noah said he wanted her to have fun. Likely said the same thing to Ashton. He wanted to just up and leave her with a man he didn’t know much about? Kaydence wasn’t going to bring that up to him. With the way he felt about Noah, she knew he wouldn’t like being a pawn. He wasn’t just going to be a pawn though. The lust for him was slowly making its way out of her body towards him. All she wanted him to do was accept it and see where the night took them. Besides the physical effects, emotionally, drugs were the most dangerous things.

“So don’t,” she finally said with a smile. “Don’t babysit me. I didn’t ask you too. I don’t need you too.” Kaydence rolled the bowl of the glass across her lip. “Go on the ride with me instead.” She brought her free hand to the base of her breast and patted at it lightly. “He gave me enough to take a passenger along. I’ll be nice and not slip it into your water like mine was.” Bringing her arm back to her side, she finished the rest of her wine and placed the empty glass on the table. She gripped the back of the chair and inhaled deeply as her head began to feel like it was floating away from her body. “You really need to loosen up anyway. I see the stressors of your job haven’t taken it easy on you in the time I’ve been gone. So, what do you say? You gonna keep destroying this room as well as your bank account or do you want to take a night off from being a surly asshole and pretend like we’re kids again?” A devilish smiled formed from the corners of her lips. “Well?”

[Ashton Wentworth]

“No,” For the first time, Ashton really didn’t need her to agree with him out loud. It was so very obvious. “Very much on this planet Ashton. I’m just choosing to focus all my negative energy into the intended use of that magic little pill that found its way into my system. It’s either that, or subject myself to the same inner turmoil you’re facing and I’ve already done that enough for the past few weeks SO I’m just going to say fuck it. You should try to do the same.” She was telling him to say ‘fuck it’? She was attempting to tell him? The thought was absolutely insane. Should have been the other way around. What was happening here. When did he become the stick in the mud? He wasn’t entirely certain how he felt about that comment. Good for her, for finding the positives in the situation - but bad for her just because. How could she even have any inner fucking turmoil? She was off living the comfortable, easy life. She was about to fuck off to some other country and be all on her own with her perfect little family. The very idea was making his stomach chun. He hadn’t eaten jack shit nothing - was going to end up really bad. Rubbing at her damned shoulders like that through his jacket - ah right, silk lining. Made sense. “I can’t do anything to change what happened. What’s done is done.” Like it no longer meant anything at all. It was going to mean a hell of a lot in the morning when she was sober - that much Ashton knew for a fact. How was that even words that had just came out of Kaydence’s mouth. Couldn’t have been - must have been something that this ‘Emmeline’ would have said. How could she justify that? That’s what he wanted to know? How could she just run off, give herself a new name and pretend to be a whole fucking other person. Was the child even hers? Merlin what if it was.


Ashton watched mute as she stumbled her way over to the table. Did she knew how much of a mess she looked? His own rapidly intoxicating vision was blurring out everything that wasn’t her - and that mess of silver sparkles that she was wearing. Wine. She had gone for the wine. Really fucking intelligent that was. “So don’t,” Not like he really had a fucking choice. Wait - what was that face all about. Why was she looking at him like that. Like light was coming out of her pores - whole body igniting for that idea that had so obviously taken root in her brain. Sly little she-devil. There was something bigger coming, he could feel it. “Don’t babysit me. I didn’t ask you too. I don’t need you to.” Like hell she didn’t. He was hardly about to let her loose onto the streets of Alzubra acting like that. Fuck - she didn’t need to be moving that glass all over her lip like that. “Go on the ride with me instead.” The hell was she saying. Ashton’s gaze dropped to the hand at her breast - unsure what it was that she was implying. “He gave me enough to take a passenger along. I’ll be nice and not slip it into your water like mine was.” Sure - walking into a drug induced bullshit was clearly such a great idea. As an irrationally impulsive man when he was sober - he couldn’t even imagine what he might be like under the influence. It seemed like a really bad, horrible - no good idea. She never would have suggested it were she also sober. Not for anything. They had hardly been able to speak to each other in that alley when they were both sober. Had hardly been able to keep from kissing her then - and he had been in full control of his facilities. On that? Whatever the hell it was that she was offering him - he could make no promises at all. Ashton didn’t do drugs. Sure - he drank like a fish with a general lack of concern for his liver or the rest of his internal organs. He smoked enough to make it obvious that his health, or any semblance of living a long life just wasn’t anywhere on his list of priorities. Drugs however - that wasn’t something that he had ever really done. There had been a stint when he was younger - before Warren had had all of the issues. Before he had ran off to another country to chase after Grace, just to have her disappear from their lives again for fucking ever. Before Ashton even knew what could happen to a person on them. Back in those years of bright eyed teenager immortality - but he had seen it now...and she had no idea what it was that she was asking him to do.


“You really need to loosen up anyway.” Right. Sure. Since she was all loose and making such great choices. ” I see the stressors of your job haven’t taken it easy on you in the time I’ve been gone.” What the fuck was that supposed to mean? Ashton glanced down at his person - he didn’t think that he was so changed? His hands ran down the front of that white shirt, silently questioning and deciding that it was just, better not to know. “So, what do you say? You gonna keep destroying this room as well as your bank account or do you want to take a night off from being a surly asshole and pretend like we’re kids again?” No idea what it was that she was asking him. He couldn’t explain it. He couldn’t deny it. He - was at a total loss of what to do. Ashton’s gaze lifted to the one across from him - but he couldn’t match that devil smile on her lips. “Well?” All Ashton did was think. He had to plan everything so carefully. Couldn’t speak like himself - couldn’t do, anything that he wanted to do simply for the fact that he wanted to do it. He was rarely able to get away with being out in public. He was a wanted man - even being in this building for dinner had caused him to pull some pretty heavy strings. Going anywhere else with her - was also going to be just as risky. He should have smacked shit out of her hand and left. That would have been the smart thing to do. Ashton’s head was spinning as his gaze shifted. Both hands coming to rest on the tall back of the chair that he had been seated in moments before as he took survey of the room. Draining his bank account indeed. Upturned chairs - alcohol staining the walls and carpet. Broken glass all over and they hadn’t even reached the second course yet. Nothing about this evening was going according to plan. No doubt he had already missed Noah’s departure. He couldn’t recover from that. He couldn’t do anything at all until Noah was back in this country with the Babi in hand. He couldn’t remember the last time that he had just...stopped.


It went against everything in him. It went against everything that his brain was screaming for him to not to. That if anybody could see him - that really knew him, they would have been so disappointed...but it was just one night. For old times sake. To live in another life - before the rest of the world had gotten so heavy on his shoulders. Before it was that he had to become ‘Wentworth - Auror darling’ against his wishes. Before he had become his badge and everything that went along with it. He had always been a hypocrite - why stop now? Swallowing hard - Ashton lowered his head - staring at the space of carpet between the toes of his shoes, letting his head hang while he had a mental battle with himself over what it was that she was offering. Would it really be so bad? Of course it would. If he agreed - it would only be bad tomorrow. Tonight it could be good. Was it safe? Absolutely fucking not. Should he have been thinking about the people who depended on him? Yes. Was he? No. All he could see was the light bouncing off of her dress and making little patterns in the carpet around his feet. Guilty - Ashton held out his hand.

[Kaydence Morgan]

Every single voice in Kaydence’s head was screaming at her. What the hell was she doing? Sure, there was a powerful drug in her system, but it hadn’t completely taken hold of her sense of reasoning. She was very much aware of the significance of this exchange. Very aware of the troubles that could, and ultimately would, come from it. Not just for her, but Ashton as well. In this present moment though, she simply didn’t care. Perhaps this was the beginning of her breaking point with everything. Noah’s shadiness and his absence. Lukas and his never-ending phase of attitude. Those damned feelings for Ashton that had resurfaced after the Boardwalk. Tired of feeling trapped and not being able to go out and fully experience the world because she was scared. Merlin was she tired of being scared. Tired of having to look behind her shoulder anytime she stepped away from her family. Tired of being scared that something would happen to her son. To her. Kaydence began to understand that although his intentions hadn’t been gone about the best, Noah knew how detrimental her behavior had been on her mental health. He wanted to give her a way out. Even if just for a few hours. Unfortunately, at this point in her life, she didn’t know how to do it on her own. Nothing she could do in her everyday life could fix the depression that plagued her mind, body and soul for years. Too much overthinking of what could go wrong. Too many times thinking that she could trust no one to fix her. Really, nobody would be able to. The man standing in front of her, however, he had once slowly been able to whether he realized it or not. Maybe that’s why the desire to have him experience this with her was so goddamn overwhelming.

She stared at him intently, amused with the internal conflict spreading across his features. He was drunk. Kaydence knew he didn’t realize he was making it easy for her to read him like a book. As his head lowered to the ground, she herself had to keep character. He was thinking about it. She knew how terrible of an influence she was. Although she wasn’t forcing him to take the extra pill she had nestled comfortably under her boob, she wasn’t given him much of a choice. At least she didn’t think she was. Not when she had spoken to him the way she had. Not when she implied how uptight he was. She had seen stressed Ashton before. Who he was now, not a shadow of his former self but clearly very tired. It was evident that outside factors were having a lot of effect on his well-being. It saddened her. The fact that he was taking so long to respond. Intoxicated, but still trying to comb through everything telling him not to take her up on his offer. What had been plaguing him for so long? Besides her leaving him without a single goodbye, how had life panned out for Ashton Wentworth? Kaydence’s curiosity had been sparked, but that was a discussion for another time. If there was even another time after this. Taking her hands off of the chair, she folded her arms to her chest as she continued to wait for his answer. He had to say yes. She needed him to say yes. For more reasons then her own desire for him to have a night of reckless shenanigans by her side. Maybe this was what she needed to finally know if what they ended a few weeks ago was truly done and buried. The answer may not be what she wanted but suddenly she was desperate to find out.

When he finally moved, Kaydence inhaled sharply. He said nothing but the extended hand gave his answer. Looking down at the ground, she did nothing to contain the satisfied smile that quickly replaced the devilish one. Moving her arms, she carefully entered the fabric covering her left breast, though extremely careful not to expose herself and grabbed the small baggie Noah had given her. As she took it out, she counted three pills. Two, which looked identical. They were clearly the ecstasy pills and another that looked completely different. Her brows furrowed. What one was that? Oblivious that it had actually been the pill Noah had intended to give her, she opened the baggie and took out one of the identical pills. She’d save the other for later. If both were having a good time, she could easily split it so they’d both be on the same level. Closing the baggie, Kaydence slid it back in its hiding spot and looked down at Ashton’s pill in her palm. Even now, the uncertainty of the next couple of hours was maddening. That tiny pill in her hand could change everything, in so many different ways. For her. For Ashton. Yet she couldn’t deny the electricity raging in every single limb. The anticipation. Licking at the pad of her right index finger, she pressed down on the pill until it stuck itself and closed the space between her and Ashton. As their gazes met, she said nothing. So many unspoken words exchanged between the two in that moment. Lifting her finger up, she sighed. “Open.” As his mouth did just that, the urge to instead place the pill on her tongue and transfer it with a kiss was so great she almost had to step away from it. He had agreed to go on this journey with her but there was still a lot of skepticism with how he felt about her. Being sensitive to her public displays of affection with Noah was one thing. Looks were just that…looks. There was no telling yet. This was going to be a very definitive moment in their relationship, whatever it was.

Bringing her finger to his mouth, she gently pressed the pill down on his tongue and removed it as he swallowed. “The liquor will make it quick in faster. So will the lack of food on your stomach.” Aware that they were still standing very close to each other, Kaydence moved away from him and closer to the table. “Have you ever rolled before?” she asked, grabbing Noah’s glass of water from earlier. She couldn’t recall the pair ever having a discussion about extracurriculars in their youth. They certainly hadn’t done it when they were together for that short time so long ago. “Do you want to stay here and wait it out or do you want to go and let it kick in elsewhere?” She had no fucking idea where they were going to go. Would make a ton of sense to head to a club. Dance it out of their systems and let the loud bass vibrate in their bodies. It’d feel so good. Plus, the need to dance hadn’t left her. Regardless of wherever they were about to go though, she was really going to have to do something about this damned dress. Beautiful and elegant but too much weight. She needed to feel loose and free.

[Ashton Wentworth]

Honestly, he had been expecting for her to stuff that pill into this palm and be done with it. Had expected to shove it into his mouth and have it over and done with. Like ripping off a band-aid. He was fairly certain that if he had to stand here, considering the possibilities for a single moment longer he was going to talk himself right out of it. That if he was hanging hi head here and thinking about the things that might happen because of this. The issues that he was going to have to face in the morning - nevermind that being intoxicated and alone with Kaydence was going to end badly. He knew this. He wasn’t stupid. He knew that being with her tonight was going to have life-changing side effects for the both of them. He could blame the whiskey all he wanted but he hadn’t had nearly enough to drink to have even hit his tolerance levels. Drank too much - all day, every day and since his ‘departure’ from the Ministry, it had only gotten worse. Too much free time and hands that tended to be far too idle.Ashton’s hand dropped and for a moment, he thought ‘of course. How stupid I must look.’ to have been taken for a weak willed idiot, yet again. Ashton’s head lifted slowly, his hands dropping back to the back of the chair and tightening their grip until he was white knuckled. It seemed that Kaydence had found her footing though, having moved softly around the table over to where he was - pill pressed to her index finger and those big eyes staring right through him. Mouth felt dry. Which was impossible, he had been drinking since he had woken up. ”Open.” Down the hatch. Cautiously, Ashton’s mouth opened.

She hardly even touched him as that pill hit his tongue. Her hand pulled back to his as he rolled it on the surface of his tongue, curious before swallowing. He hadn’t managed to break eye contact with her the entire time. “The liquor will make it quick in faster. So will the lack of food on your stomach.” Could feel her - wasn’t even touching her but she was close enough that he would have sworn he could feel her. Naturally - she moved away. Could she feel it too? Couldn’t still have anything there. She couldn’t - not with the way that she had been moving with Noah the entire time that he had been here? That persistent, nagging voice in the back of his head attempted to tell him that it was all for show - that she was just pretending. It wasn’t Kaydence, not the real her - it was Emmeline - and Emmeline didn’t even fucking exist. “Have you ever rolled before?” Had he? He wasn’t sure. The small window of time in which he had dabbled in anything had been so small - that he wasn’t entirely certain. Years, and years ago. Could hardly even remember it. When had he gotten to be so old? Ashton’s head shook, almost imperceptibly in response to her question. Didn’t matter if he had or had not - it had been far too long now. “Do you want to stay here and wait it out or do you want to go and let it kick in elsewhere?” Ashton didn’t want to be this old. Wasn’t that the whole point of tonight? Ashton glanced once more around the room - it wasn’t in his name. He had paid enough up front to hold the fucking room, and to use false names...but there weren’t any real ties to him or Noah...and nothing would happen. Wasn’t like it could be traced...wanted to act like a child - he could give her a child. Closing his eyes - Ashton willed that small responsible part of his brain to shut off.

Before he could think better of it - Ashton moved. Bending to scoop up her skirts and bunch them up enough to stuff them into Kaydence’s hand - grabbed her ankle before she could stop him and lifted. Pulling one of her keeps off and then the other - and as fate would have it, the knock on the door came from the waiter no doubt wanting to check in on them as well as bring in the next round of food - and with Kaydence’s shoes in hand he grabbed her free hand - and took off in the direction of the door. She could stay - or she could ditch out on the whole bill with him.